"Chemistry VS Compatiblity"

"The interaction of one personality with another"
- Chemistry

"Capable of orderly, efficient integration and operation with other elements in a system with no modification or conversion required; capable of existing or living together in harmony"
- Compatibility

"You can have chemistry without compatibility, but you cannot have compatibility without chemistry."

The Question has been raised to define the difference between having chemistry with someone, and being compatible with them. Very good question. Chemistry is just simply the ability to mix. Compatibility is the ability to mix and still be the same flavor, and in some cases, enhance it. Its like having a traditional Margarita, but instead of having 1800 Silver in it, you add Patrone. The addition does not change the flavor of the Margarita, just adjusts it slightly. However, chemistry is just like adding ice to the “Margarita” and watering it down.

Chemistry is the ability to hold a conversation with someone without losing interest rapidly, and frequently. Compatibility is the electricity of a conversation that is profound, keeping you grounded, and not wanting it to cease. So how do you know you have Chemistry or compatibility? Well, what are your topics of conversation? If you are talking about the latest apparel constantly, then you are just in endless agreement. But if the topics are of importance, expressing measures of your intelligence and learning from each other, then we are getting somewhere. Analyze who it is you are talking to, and what they are saying. This is where you find out rather the relationship is either a stuffed animal, or a puppy. Both fun, but what’s the difference? One is WAY more interactive than the other, and actually “real.”

When I asked Christina how she met her fiancé Jonathan, this is what Christina had to say. “... we hit it off great...ummmm his headline was a lyric to one of lupe fiasco's songs… so i decided to send him a note and in it i didnt put [nothing] else except the rest of the lyric… ummm we ended up being on the phone that night… talked every [freaking] day str8… if we wasn't talkin we was textin… and i think on the 4th day we hooked up” This is a prime example of chemistry MASQUERADING as compatibility. Sounded so good on the surface, but in the end, all Jonathan did was drop a couple of cubes in Christina’s “Margarita.” The relationship was based off the High of the moment, instead of its “sabor” or essence. This is chemistry in its most confusing form, being momentary and physical. It swoops down like a peregrine falcon and captures you in its appearance. But it doesn’t always have a happy ending because in this case, the engagement was silenced after Christina saw Jonathan’s TRUE colors.

You can still have a relationship with someone based off Chemistry, but the experience is not as savoring or prosperous as a relationship based off compatibility. When speaking to Frank about how he feels about his “Running Mate” Tiffany, he had this to say. “… She is such a strong woman that it’s like I don’t even deserve to be her friend, let alone her man... She inspires me to do the right thing, to make the right decisions… She brings the best out of me… She is my strength in my moments of fatigue…” Frank is smiling all the while he is making these wondrous claims. When Frank met Tiffany, he was sipping on a “Margarita” too, and Tiffany added that good ‘ole Patrone, amplifying its essence. You can tell its something spiritual between them rather they are under the microscope of the public, or the seclusion of their home.

So what did we learn today? To check the pulse of your relationship through conversation and interaction, and ask yourself, “Is this even alive?”