"A Monologue For All"

Do not think of this as me. Just read it.

I have a constant battle within, and now I know its a battle between my flesh and my spirit. I have seen the price of letting your flesh win and its a heavy one, period. But I have never been so torn in my life. It is as if, I am two people and I do not know how to exhaust one of them off. I cannot have two consciousness and live. I must have one. I must live for God. I have to stop blaming others and start making a difference. I have to forgive my mother for all the pain she may have caused me. I have to forgive my father for all the pain he may have caused me. I have to forgive my friends for all the pain they may have caused me. I have to forgive my family for all the pain they may have caused me. I have to forgive myself for all the pain I may have caused me.

I feel so lost, but yet I feel so directed. Because in the heart of the destruction OF myself, I have DISCOVERED myself. In the eye of the storm, I have found reasoning and purpose in the eyes of the Lord. I need a difference in my life. I need a vision, I need a commitment to God. I need a change. I need to tell God how much I love Him and tell others the same. I have to be able to speak His name not only in fear, but it glory. To spread the Gospel and tell my own story.

I must rid myself of the constant temptation I am faced with. I must run from fornication. I must run from any sexual temptation or frustration I have. I must let go and let God.

I must accept accountability and responsibility for the actions, and thoughts, performed by me.

I can not be ruled by what the enemy has placed as a road block in my life. I can not be stopped by the fiery darts of wickedness. I must not harden my heart. I must commit to God, because I am only content through God.

Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary. Lord shape me, mold me, teach me. The wealth in which I need you is more exuberant than the requirements you would have of me. Lord you have given me a purpose and a promise, and I plan to fulfil them both. I would rather die chasing you oh God, than live running from you. Lord teach me to take up my cross daily oh God, not just so that I can suffer like you suffered Lord, because suffering means nothing without purpose. But Lord, to suffer like you suffered so I can help bring others to you and you save them, just like you saved me.

Lord teach me to carry your cross and not my crops Lord God, and teach me the difference between the two. Lord, remind me oh God that you will not put a cross on me that's too big for me to carry. And if you do Lord, its just to see if I will carry it anyway oh God. To see if i will still praise and thank you oh Lord for doing all the things you have done and are going to do. To praise you for delivering me Lord God, even as I am held captive.

"And For this reason I kneel before the Father...I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen me with power through his Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. And I pray that I...may grasp how wide, and long, and high, and deep is the love of Christ...that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."* Amen

*(words taken from Ephesians 3:14-20, no its not how it is written in the bible, but I wanted to make it personal)

"A Short Story"

A great debator, no one is greater. a metaphoric organism, call me the terminator. cause im trying to change my future, but not by correcting my past. making a difference in my present, so i can be free at last. Living out King's Dream, with my Eyes On The Prize. Resounding loud "God is Real", until my demise.

"Reasonable Doubt VS Blueprint 3"

Now I realize this is quite early to make a comment about this, but it is beginning to frustrate me with the lack of enthusiasm behind Jay-Z's new album "Blueprint 3", even from long time fans. Let’s take a trip back in time shall we. You ask any Jay lover what the best album he ever made was, what is their response? Reasonable Doubt. But 87% of those people can't quote not one bar from that album, and some, don't even know tracks from the Album. So how can you conclude this is the best album he ever did and not know $#@T about it? Its because they are just rolling with what others would say. Reasonable Doubt was a great album lyrically, because he still had Big and Pac alive, so he HAD to come hard. How many of you actually listen to Reasonable Doubt before any other Jay-Z CD? Hmmm, I wonder...

Blueprint happens to my favorite Jay-Z album. Just had a different feel than any other Album before it and he did it in a little over a week. Holy $#@T !!! Now that's Talent with a capital T! Reasonable Doubt is a "classic" because at the time in which it was released, Hip Hop was in a state that Reasonable Doubt belongs in the Top 5 albums of all time. The Black Album is also another CD with the same situation. As i was telling Aaron, the anticipation, the swag, the producers, and the direction of Hip Hop, Black Album should be his best album ever. He gave the people exactly what they wanted and they loved him for it. But what determines an albums initiation into the Hall of Fame? Its substance or its sales? Lets face it, Jay-Z on his worse day, is better than 90% of rappers best day.

Classic is just defined by age. Period. It is not the measuring deivce of any album’s potential or potency. Now I will admit that I should not call Blueprint 3 a classic because it’s too new to even be considered one. But I guarantee I will be labeled one eventually. Jay Decided he was "off that" and wanted to be different with his new album in correlation to the times we are in with Hip Hop. Which once again, makes it great for its time. Jay is old and trying to rap about something parallel to his situation, while simultaneously paving the road for up and coming rookies like Drake and Kid Cudi. He wants to retire, he has been trying to retire since Reasonable Doubt!! But name an artist that can take over the game like Jay has that’s alive right now? Not Drake, Not Kanye, and certainly not Lil Wayne. Blueprint 3 is upbeat, swag infested, and lyrically playful but yet not too far away from his lyrical ability. “Me, I’m from the apple, which means I’m a mac. Shorty’s a PC, she lives in my lap.” With creative lines like this and production that rivals anything else on the market, tell me it’s not great.

Rather you like it or not, Hip Hop is no longer about shooting people, selling drugs, and having sex with women all day. It’s about fast music, creative bars, and a good video. Ludacris is one of the most creative lyricist alive but has never gotten his shot at serious fame because he was never talking about what other rappers were talking about. Jay is being the pioneer for this type of music to become a standard so artist like Drake can take over. People like Gucci Mane and Jeezy have mainstreamed gangsta rap into something fun to listen to, and no longer a story to tell about their past like Big and Pac did. Because when it comes to music, it’s not about what’s said, but truthfully, about what wants to be heard.

"Confused Desire"

(No Ms. Eaton, this has nothing to do with you in any way, this was written a while ago, just so happens i am posting it today. just in case u feel like its directed to you)

So today's quick lesson will be on desire. With all the things that our hearts desire and seek, it can be quite confusing to know what you desire, versus whats just in front of you. In relationship terms, sometimes you desire someone else so much, you express that lust with whoever is in front of you or will give you the time of day, even if its more than one person. That can be quite confusing and damaging to the body and soul. Its definitely a translucent torment that you alone can attest to its emotional weight and pain. The pain caused by trying to hold it in your hands, but its too much of a heavy load to carry on your own. So you release it to others in the hopes they can relieve some of the stress.

That is a battle i had in my mind and heart and I see it clear as mountain fresh water. Its not fair to the person you express it with, even though i know its just like opening a valve, it can relieve so much bottled up pressure. The remedy is to just simply reveal your desire to the intended person and let it go. Because its not the fact that you want them that drives you insane, its typically the idea that you "could" be with them. it is definitely a living fantasy that just grows more in depth and vivid the longer it stays solely in your heart and not on the listening ears of the intended audience. Yes it will hurt if they say "no," but it feels a lot better than assuming its "yes."

"All the single Ladies, ALL the single Ladies!!"

***Warning. This is in no way a disrespect to the male race and our choices in women. Just stating a fact.***

Yesterday I had an epiphany while talking to my sister and her co-worker. Her co-worker was screaming about how can men ask for certain things, and they are even dating yet. Where my input began was saying "guys are simple, women are complex." But where it got interesting for me was when I said, "Men make the mistake of calling an independent woman stuck up or hard to get." To elaborate, we evaluated the difference between approaching a non-independent woman and an independent woman.

A non-independent woman you can approach any way you like, any time you like and she will give you attention, even if its to tell you "BYE!" More often you get the response you are looking for and you can quickly move on to your objective. Your chances of success are so high this typically the woman you seek out more often than not when you are at the bar.

An independent woman you have to catch at the right time to get her attention because if she is on a mission to handle some business she is not going to be distracted by YOU (unless you have something seriously going for you). Only way she will talk to you is if she approaches you, not the other way around. Too many times have I witnessed guys get shot down by an independent woman because he is use to the responses of a non-independent woman. Just won't work! I have been shot down as well, I would be a liar if I said I get them every time.

I get the independent woman (when I do succeed lol) because I caught at a moment when she is open, not closed. My sister made a joke, laughing as she says "That's why fools seem to slip through the cracks because they catch you at the right time." Most times she is closed and on her cell phone, so thats a no go. To get her attention, you must be able to break the ice SWIFTLY. Otherwise, she will chalk you up as a loser like the rest of the guys. You must be creative and original. For homework, watch in Hitch, the scene where Will Smith and Eva Mendes meet for the first time at the bar. Watch the interaction with the douchebag before Will and watch Will's. Most guys approach women such as Eva like the douchebag did, even if they have the creativity like Will. Difference is, Will got in 'dem drawers and not him! LMBO

"Pause for Poetry"

the validity of my epiphany has sovereign authenticity. the sorrow of my morrow is cause for favor to gallows. the essence of my present is neither incandescent nor pleasant. the crash of my past is translucent as a looking glass. there is no mystery in my constant misery. a story of false glory. but there is a hope that i grope. a place where God and peace elope. the tranquility of Gods soliloquy inherited to me. A voice of reason, of a voice of passion. An axiom that's everlasting...

"And Your Point is?" Pt 3

So I wrote all of that just to simply talk about one thing, relationships. Just be careful when choosing people you want to hang with in your spare time. This is not just about dating, but about friends as well. Don't just choose someone to be friends with cause they have a little bit of dough and they can spend it on you and not care. Don't do things that are beneath you just because you see the success of a man and you want to be worry free financially so do whatever he tells you. Fellas, don't change your values just because a woman is insanely beautiful and is giving you play, women are users too!!! You can live without all these people. You were fine before you met them, you will be even better afterwards. Make a man or woman appreciate you. Surround yourself with positive energy and positive people. Prophesy into your life all the things you want, the places you want to go, the people you want to meet (and marry). Ask God for Guidance and selection. I swear He will not lead you wrong!

" The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther The King Jr" - Pt 2

"This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

Here is a man who truly projects one of thee most untainted definitions of Character in the last 100 years. Dr. King knew what he was up against in his race against equality amongst the black community during his time, yet his Character did not allow him to deter from traveling down such a temerarious road. His courage so impregnable, even the fear of a forthcoming death did not sway his concise judgement to continue fighting against the oppression of Coloreds.

In the final portion of the earth's architecture is the Core. The core, also made up of two parts, represents your Character. Your inner core is what you KNOW to be right or wrong, while your outer core is what you chose to do with that information. This is why it is cloaked by your the mantle or your personality, because your personality is usually a derivative of your Character. Character is what has been instilled into you since you were fresh from the womb. And that doesn't necessarily mean your mother's either. Character being morals and values and beliefs, thats not something you are born with. Its when you decide to live life a certain way regardless of prior teachings, believes, or actions. This could be good or bad. Character is what etches your DNA on the Mural of life. It is your psychological blueprint designed for others to read and build from.

"Bugs Bunny" - Pt 1

Whats up Doc? Ohhhh, nothin' much I'm Chilled!!! Listen, everyone take your seats, including you Bugs. The Doctor is in the building, so the show must begin...

Today I want to speak on Character. Character is defined as "the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing; moral or ethic quality." Everyone that knows me is in a parallel accord that I am a Looney Toon. But that is just the surface, I am a doctor at heart. I want you to invision the earth as the mascot for my analogy today. The earth has three layers. The crust, the mantle, and the core.

The crust is simple, its what you see when you look at the earth. The crust is the extensions of ourselves. It what we wear, what we drive, what we eat. All things created by Mother Nature. Mother Nature is our environment. Depending on how Mother nature decided to feed us and make us grow, depends on what we take interest in and what we chose to show that interest. This is where most relationships get caught in and never proceed to something real because they love someone for what they can do for you, and not the person themselves.

The mantle, being a highly viscous property, is where your personality lies. This is how you act under certain conditions, which is why there are two sections to it, upper mantle and mantle. The upper mantle is more resistant to pressure that the mantle is. Keep that in mind as I define the two different circumstances. Circumstance one being normal, circumstance two being abnormal or extreme. Normal is just our everyday interaction with nouns (person, place, or thing). The verb (action taken) that is accompanied by that noun is dependent on the derective of the noun, I.E. if someone has an attitude or some approaches you with positive energy. Since your upper mantle is first and is more resistant, you may not act a fool if they have an attitude. But if they irritate you enough to reach your mantle, there may be a different result.

"For $45 You Better Tell Me Something!!"- Chris Tucker

Today is the first entry I am going to write that is is apart of a philosophy I call, "Interviewing the Elephant." Its where I talk about the things no one wants to talk about. You know, the elephant in the room.

I am going to dive right in, and keep it 100. Expectations in a relationship. The quote from the movie Rush Hour, Chris Tucker is demanding he get some REAL information since he gave the guy $45 and is EXPECTING some results from that. Now there are many things to speak on so the first thing I will bring to your attention is rewardzone. If anyone shops at Best Buy, then you know rewardzone is a program to where every dollar you spend equals a point. Gain so many points, you get money back in the mail and qualify for special offers. Now ask yourself, "what are the benefits of my rewardzone program?" We all do things in a relationship that we feel proves our love and affection for our mate. We buy gifts, take you places, stand by you on good, and bad, decisions, and so on. We put in work, as the young kids say. But what if that kinda work is a required? Is there even a reward for that kind of work? How do you measure what's over and beyond and whats expected? Because over and beyond gets you promoted at the job, doing whats expected just keeps you getting a paycheck. Gotta put in some overtime if you want some better results.

Lets continue with this rewardzone idea for a moment. In rewardzone, it requires currency to purchase things, but not everything you purchase is worth any points, only "tangible items." Tangible is defined as having actual physical existence...therefore being capable of assigning value [to it]. Whats expected in a relationship first of all comes from whats valued. How much currency to you really have to be able to buy something tangible in someone's rewardzone? Is what you are bringing to the table on a daily basis substantial? Loyalty is a huge reward in my book. If you stick by me through the good and the bad, put up with my attitude, and all that comes to follow, you get double the points. I reward people based off the moments that count, the little things you know. When I am at work and I have no money because I forgot my wallet so you buy me food. Thats love! When i open the door for you in the car and you reach over and unlike mine, THATS LOVE! Thats what I reward. Not the fancy dinner, or the birthday gifts, (unless its something I REALLY like), or anything TRADITIONAL. You have to do something outside the box to get my points. 

Lets take another example I spoke on a while ago. Mixing friends with your mate. On the one hand, she introduces all her male friends to her boyfriend and they all cool, even sometimes talk on the phone. But the boyfriend doesn't introduce ALL her male friends and keeps some distant because its not a good idea to mix the two. The girlfriend becomes jealous, demands to know the mysterious person, and uses the fact that she introduces all her friends, so why can't you!? What if the guy doesnt care about meeting ALL of your friends? You will never know unless you ask. You cannot expect him to do the things you do to show love if thats not what he feels defines love.

I reward when you do something out of the ordinary, like bring me a present on a random tuesday, or cook me Cinnamon banana pancakes because you know I have been craving them. Doing things to show you are listening to me. Now do not come and try to attack me saying, "Well, I do this, this, and this, for him and he doesn't even appreciate it!" How we ever stopped to try and figure out whats actually important to the person we are serving? She expects certain undiscussed actions because we are in a relationship. Just like women expect that after 4-5 years of dating, YOU, not her, YOU are going to pop the question with a Diamond ring to solidify the purity and sincerity of your request! The saying goes, "you get what you pay for." Well how about you get what you work for. 

So hop up out the bed and turn your swag on, then you can have the things you feel you deserve.

"Bitter"

"And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground....But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt."

We all like to focus on the future, when our present seems so dark. The future can be that one distant star of hope, brightly shining as dim as a weakened candle. While holding on to the future's reward is often the tylenol of enduring the present heartache, for a moment I want to talk about the Ghost of our own past.

In the story, Lot and his family was spared from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorra. As the verse says, she turns around and becomes a pillar of salt. I want to bring a much deeper meaning to that verse. Looking back into your past and wishing it was still your present, or regretting the changes you have made, or just simply being bitter about the things that happen, will destroy your future. It will leave you planted in the same position eternally until you decide to look forward to your future, instead of falling backwards into your past.

"And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed."

When God relays a message to you from someone else, make sure you are listening. It may not always be what you want it to be, but its for your own benefit. God told Lots family not to look back and to escape to the mountains where you can not be consumed. God wants to take you to the highest place, spritually so that you will be above all the things that come to harm you. And when I say above, I mean not only physically, but spiritually. So when someone forms a weapon against you, if you are in Gods will and his grace, you will know that it shall not prosper against you. And not only will you rise above it, you will be reborn in him so you will not be bitter towards that person because you are higher mentally. In fact, you will pray for that person and that they find God.

Looking back into your past with "wishful thinking" will cloud your future. Looking back will even sometimes have you bitter towards God because you miss some of the things you had you feel may have actually had some good in it. Let me break down the difference between "good" and "God." Good is a four letter word that looks like God with the letter O being replicated. But there is only one God, and he cannot be duplicated, though he is often imitated. God is a three letter word, which is a prime number so it can only be divided by the number one and itself. Since God is the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end, so the only thing that can divide(serparate) you from him is Himself. He is number one. Thats why the things that are good are not always God, but the things that are God are always good.

When God gives you something, he does not take it away. And even if he does, its because he is upgrading you for your obedience. So do not look back into your past wanting some things to return to your present. The only time we should be thinking about the past is when we are thanking God for our present and that he brought us out of destruction. God wants your future to be on a high mountain, filled with milk and honey. Far from destruction, and closer to the heavens with him. But first you have to listen to him when he is calling, and you have to climb that mountain. Trust me I know, going up that mountain is painful, tiring, and streneous to the body.

God can put you through so much you become bitter towards him because life was easier when you were on your own it seems like. He will make you want to give up, but you can't. You must have faith in him. Because when you are done climbing, your legs and calf muscles are stronger so you can walk through life and stand your ground without getting knocked down. Your arms are stronger so you can fight against tricks of the enemy. And finally you will be in a place where you are so close to God its like you can see him and talk to him personally. Its like He is in the room with you, talking back to you as you pray. He wants you so high up that even if someone does come to attack you, they will be fatigued from all the hard work it takes to even try and harm you, and they will be easily defeated with your new strength!

That is why God tells you not to look back, because there is so much in front of you, just need to move forward. When you look back with bitterness, you become a statue, planted at that place in that moment, never seeing the future God has in store for you.

"Moving Mountains"

While being in a class once, the teacher made a very clear and concise presentation on the meaning of faith. Let me tell you the story...

"Class, I would like to demonstrate to you the meaning of faith. Take this rubber ball in my hand. Its soft, squishy, and when it is exherted by force against a dense object, it bounces. As so (Teacher displays the ball's ability to bounce.) So now that you know this ball can bounce, Myron, would you mind displaying the fact that it can bounce again for the class." I attempt to bounce the ball, but it doesn't bounce. There is confusion written all on my face. I look at the teacher for an explanation.

"There it is ladies and gentleman. Faith. The moral of the story is not that fact that the ball did not bounce when I gave it to him. In fact, I switched the balls and gave Myron a different one that doesn't bounce. Whats important is Myron just knew, without the shadow of a doubt that when he threw the ball it would bounce. No questions asked. He knew it, he believed it. He witnessed it before. That is faith and how it should be. Its what God wants. For you to believe in him blindly and to trust he will do what he says he will do. God is the ball, which is the instrument of faith or reason to believe it to be true, while the bible and our every day lives is the proof that the ball bounces."

This story came to me while I was preparing to fall asleep last night. Yes I made it up, but I hope it was as powerful for you as it was for me. God will deliver everything he promised, even if sometimes you reach out to make the ball bounce and it doesn't. That's because we need to move on God's time and not our own. The moment you rush God or begin to doubt him is when the ball doesn't bounce. And that's because its a trick of the enemy, an imitation ball. Just like how the teacher switched balls on me in the dream, the enemy will make something look like God, but it aint. So check the content for its authenticity. Then you will know why some rubber balls just aren't bouncing back like they are suppose too.

"Holy Suicide"

"People are dying to please others and themselves, instead of dying to please God. And I do not mean that in a literal sense, I mean it in a way of always looking for ways to please one another and being overly anxious to do so, instead of driving that same passion towards God." - Myron Hargrove

“Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”- Luke 9:23-24

In this passage, God is not asking you literally die for him. What he is asking is that you stand for him, instead of falling for others. By denying yourself and that all you do or accomplish is accredited to God, you give Him the glory in all things. But by doing this and confessing with your mouth the Lord Jesus Christ, enemies are sure to follow you and persecute you. The enemy is always looking to test you and prove that God's existence is not only not real in you, but sometimes, not real at all. How many times have we been confronted by people who don't attend church and, "Church is so fake and nothing but a business. Everything you say not to do while you are in service, you do as soon as you leave." They have a point. Some people do act the same as "the world" in shadows, which is when they feel God is not looking. But they are some of us who Let our light so shine from within us and show that God is real.

The biggest impact you can have is not the words you use, but the actions you take. More people are watching you than people that are listening to you. This is why God said, "take up his cross daily and follow him." Think about this. When Jesus was being crucified, there was a multitude of people below him, watching him, waiting for him to pull himself off the cross and prove He is Lord. People do they same to us, they put us on the cross everyday and judge us and wait for us to prove that God is real within us. Its subliminal, because they don't really want you to come down off the cross, they don't want Jesus to show he has power over all things including simple nails in my hands and feet. They do not want to be proven wrong. Because then there is accountability at that point for there actions and people want to live free and without rules and they look at religion as rules. And to a great extent it is. But Christianity is more than rules, more than a religion, its a lifestyle. And people are already comfortable with their own lifestyle and they do not want to change. So I just encourage you to show them how beneficial this way of life is, instead of just telling them about it. "Actions speak louder than words."

Just something to think on.

"Love is Blind" - Pt 2

First off,  you must/will be equally yoked when God joins you together.

As an example of NOT being equal, I was talking to my brother-in-law yesterday and he was telling me a story of his ex from some years ago. One day they were hungry and he requested pancakes. Pancakes being an easy request, she got right on it. As she was cooking the pancakes, she ended up making mistakes and messing the pancakes. So instead of starting over again and trying a new approach, she pouted like a child, threw the pancakes and the PAN in the garbage and told him with an attitude, "We aint having no pancakes today."

Now I will give you a moment to stop laughing (I know I was) and lets look at the big picture of that. Her actions/attitude was a DIRECT reflection of her inner core. It was clear that she does not handle pressure well and when things do not go her way, she scraps the whole idea and gives up. Who wants to be married to that?

I fear some of you will Question the title of the entry seeing as how the focus is not necessarily love, but of unconditionally loving God so much you have blind faith in him. Some have requested that I go into more detail about the love itself. At this moment I have no bible verses to back up what I am saying, so just take it as a life experience I am speaking on.

Unconditional love has come to me as loving without prejudice. It's a blind love not in the idea of not seeing the truth about someone, but in fact the exact opposite, knowing all there is to know about someone and loving them anyway. This love is a hard love to accomplish and I have found that it can only produced by God and not by man. Since we are born into the flesh, we naturally only accept the people who we like, for whatever reason that may be.  Thats who we hang around, call on the phone, and attend events with. But an unconditional love runs deeper than the heart of the oceans. Stronger than the most durable metals. And more beautiful than the most precious diamonds. Now, I'm sorry, but as a human being, I can not love just anyone with that much intensity. For me, they have to earn that kind of love. And that is why God is who he is. We don't deserve a single thing, but he loved us anyway. Loved us so much he gave his only Son. Now thats a father for you. 

"Love is Blind"

We have all heard the saying that love is blind. But I think there are two sides of that coin. Follow me around the room for a second here...

We are accustom to the definition meaning when we are in a relationship, there are things that we don't see because we are busy falling in love. We are on this emotional roller coaster moving so fast that we miss out on the scenery surrounding the "ride" we are on. While this is still true, people do get stuck in that box, I want to talk about the mysterious definition no one speaks on. A love that God meant for us to strive for; an unconditional, trusting love.

The next question becomes, "Well, what kind of love is that then? Give me an example." I am going to give you more than an example. I am going to give you God. I was thinking about a bible verse that says "we walk by faith, and not by sight." This verse is so powerful to me I can not even begin to tell you, but here is my most solemn attempt. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." If we are following God so faithfully, we should not even be distracted by the things around us because we can't even see it. If we put him in charge of our every step, how can we fall? Our love should be so blind that we can walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil. We can't see the foggy mist that wouldn't allow us to drive down the road because God is in the drivers seat. God guides us as if we are children, because like all children, we are disobedient and we want to do things our way. Stubborn. The enemy can place MANY distractions to try and have us falling by the wayside. Just have to trust God. 

"A Letter From God"

I see you, I have always seen you. I have been watching you since the day you were born. I do have a special purpose for you, as do I for all. I can see your faith in me has deteriorated, but not expunged. Well, while I may understand your heartache, that does not justify its existence. You are a sinner. But yet, there are very few I allow to experience what you are going through. It is not because I do not love you, or I wish to see you in pain. But rather, I allow trials and tribulations to come upon your life to build you. Its hard, I know. More than what non-believers have to bare. But it is this way simply to prepare you for the future. I love you. I know you love me too. You believe it, you embrace it. But I also know you need a reminder because it does not always seem that way. Be assured and know that all things work together, and are good to, and for ,those who love Me and are called according to My design and purpose. Your virtue is held only by the brave, the bold, the few. The few people that I call "My Children." And it is only that few, that have my word hidden in their heart motivating that virtue, that will have true happiness. Never release that virtue. Trust in me with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. If in every step you take, every decision you make, you would but just acknowledge me, I will direct your path. I will not in any way fail you, nor give you up, nor leave you without support. I will not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake you, nor let you down. I will give you what you desire. Peace, love, Joy, all the fruit of the spirit, all the things your life needs right now, if you would just seek me first. Seek My kingdom, and all these things will be added unto you, including that new car you have been eyeing. As I close, I want you to remember a few things as you start your day today. Remember to Love thy neighbor as you love yourself. I know you do not have the greatest boss in the world, but he is human too. Do not be angry with those who try to hurt you. No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that will rise against you in judgment, you will show to be in the wrong. Remember that you fight not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual wickedness in high places. The spirits that are within the people around you. That's why My son whispered to me while he was dying, "Forgive them father, for they know not what they do." Forgive those who try to rise against you. Vengeance is mine, and mine alone. Sing the song in your heart to defend against others, just like your ancestors did with the trumpet against the walls of Jericho. I love you so much I gave my son for you. And through my son, you have eternal life. Never forget that. And finally, remember that I am your father, who is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before Me with exceeding joy. Unto me, the only wise God and Savior, be both glory and majesty, dominion and power. Both Now, and Forever.

"Friendship Revisited"

I am troubled by the ability to express featured thoughts and enigmas that weigh heavy on my heart. I don't want to write on the Cloud anymore because the Cloud has the reputation of being based on relationships and my opinion of what to do and not to do. But I am more than that. There is more information imprisoned in my head waiting to be released than some guidebook to how to treat your significant other.




This is no disrespect to those that follow this blog. Its a great way for me to express what I feel, and take requests on what others want to hear about. I feel though that its a hindrance to my overall potential. I need to expand my horizon and write about other realistic topics. Though relationships is my strong suit obviously, it's not easy to come up with new topics all the time.





But there is one thing I want to leave on the Cloud before I retire, a revisiting of friendship.





Someone define friendship for me. Is a true friend the one that sticks by you even when you spit on them, or curse at them, shut them out and disrespect them? Or is that friend too naive to see the other friend for who they truly are? Someone tell me what it takes to be a great friend. Is it the money you spend on them?, or is it the time you spend with them? Is it thoughtful phone calls or text messages when you are sick or tired?, or is it the ability to continue to stand close to them, even though you are so sick and tired? Is it the courage to jump out of a plane with them for excitement (skydiving)?, or the courage to stop them from jumping off a roof when they are frustrated and ready to give up?

I have to conclude that being my friend is a luxury and an opportunity, not a necessity or a duty. I am the most loyal friend you can ever have. I am not deserving of disrespect, though I take it with a smile and continue to stand by you. I am to be appreciated and valued, because my worth never depreciates. I am all the things I asked above. God made me such an individual that cannot be recreated or reciprocated. I have my moments that I am intolerable, but that’s because I have to tolerate others and their foolishness and it has caused me to develop a backbone that I use out of context frequently. So please forgive me to all those I speak abusively to.

This is not a shot at anyone in particular or me venting from an issue that occured today. Its just something that has been on my heart and I have not been able to express it until now when I was listening to my ipod earlier. The word Friend is frivoriously being used out of context, just like the word love. We call everyone friends when a lot of people do not deserve that title. Some people are simply associates and affiliates. Associates are exactly what it sounds like, someone you associate with, while an affiliate is someone you know because there is a common individual that unites you. Otherwise without that common person, you would be strangers.

Everyone is not your friend and we have to remember that, even the ones that really are. All it takes is a moment for their loyalty to be truly tested, and they will fail. Or a moment where they have to chose between your friendship, and their personal agenda. Think about all the great heros and stories alike. Whoever the villian is on the story, they usually have some type of history with the hero and they know the hero personally. Usually some type of friendship or relative. And what happened? The villian wanted to do some action and the hero was against it, so their bond was broken. Same thing applies to us, let something get in the way of our so called friendship, and you will see who is REALLY real.

"Pisces" Pt 2

Pisces Deep Inside:

Pisces have an intuitive and psychic ability more then any other zodiac signs. They trust their gut feelings and if they do not, they quickly learn to because they realize that their hunches are usually correct. Pisces downfall is their sensitivity and their inability to reject another person. They do not like rejection and they try to treat others the way they want to be treated so they will rarely say no to a person for fear of hurting their feelings. They will help another person with their problems and like to do so because making others feel good in turn makes them feel good. Pisces is the zodiac sign of self-undoing. People born under this zodiac sign are not susceptible to bad luck and unfortunate events, they bring them on themselves by overindulging, laziness and a knack for picking poorly suited partners and friends. They want people in their life who stir their emotions because this helps them to practice emotional stability. The inner conflict of Pisces is extremes of temperament and conflicting emotions. They are trying to pinpoint themselves on the real world while their spiritual world can cloud their vision, they will try to escape or avoid a situation instead of confronting it. Pisces eternal struggle is to learn to use their powers and their imagination in a positive, productive way and vying for emotional stability by not giving away their emotions to everyone else, they need to help themselves.

Yet again I am wowed by some of the truths in this caption. All I am going to say is I do not agree with a lot of this caption, but there is some truth in it. I am not afraid to confront issues, but I have tunnel vision meaning I can only fight what’s in front of me, and not around me. I need to develop omni vision. And yes, I do like to read about certain levels of drama in books and I also like to console friends if it’s not too heavy of a topic. And I do have an extreme temperament, no argument there. Overall I feel like everyone has a little bit of every Zodiac sign in them. Personally, I have some serious Gemini tendencies, so does that make me a Gemini? Your personality is your own and is constructed simply by the environment you are raised in. And no book, or fortune teller can or even should tell you otherwise.

"Communication Without Trust"

Darius: “For the last time Nina, Lisa and I are over. You and I are together. So tell me, what is your problem?”
Nina: “How am I suppose to believe that?”
Darius: “Because I just sat here and told you.”
Nina: “Well that’s not good enough.”
Darius: “What are you talking about?”
Nina: “I’m talking about the blackboard, with her phone number on it. I’m talking about the phone calls at 5 am. I’m talking about trying to read your mind…”
Darius: “You don’t know [nothing] about trust. You the one that went to New York and [slept with] old boy.”
Nina: “You acted like you didn’t even care.”

Classic situation of not trusting your partner. Darius says whole heartedly that a woman he was previously dating is no longer an issue, Nina is disagreeing based on the evidence left behind. Darius claims she’s the one not trustworthy since she went out of town to see some ex for closure, when they were beginning a relationship. But Nina only went to because Darius played the “I’m cool” role about it and wanted to prove a point. Really its not that Darius was cool about it, Darius just wasn’t worried since he was doing his “job”.

So now there is this big elephant in the room that no one is speaking on, and because of the silence, it all aggressively came out at once. Bible speaks of being “slow to anger”, and this is one of the main reasons why. Because of Nina’s accusations on Darius, he got so fed up that he broke up with Nina. And judging by the look on her face when Darius spoke those words, that wasn’t her intended outcome of the situation. Letting things linger in the way Nina did, can bring out the opposite of your intentions. Its not just about what you say, it’s how you say it. Food can taste good, but sometimes its presentation will you drive to not even want to find out.

The moral of the story is not whether Darius was lying about dating Lisa, rather that we have to learn to trust what our partner is telling us. Unless it is painfully obvious he/she is lying. I’m not asking you to be naïve of course. Because if you don’t have trust, what do you really have? If you do not trust your partner, then you become this obsessive, insecure stalker who is always challenging the words of your partner, and treating a simple conversation like an FBI interrogation. And who wants that?

I don’t know the solution necessarily because every situation is different. But I do have a theory. That theory is called “understanding.” Communicate with your partner so you can try to understand their point, or whatever their defense is. And really listen to whatever it is they are saying. If you don’t understand how you partner thinks, or the type of decisions they make, then it’s going to be a LONG road ahead of you. Ask rational, intelligent questions without the co-signing of an attitude. And if you do suspect something, do not treat them like you caught them in the act of committing the crime, be normal! Law states, innocent until proven guilty, so keep it that way.

I am going to use myself as an example and then I am done. I am a flirt. Any woman who dates me needs to understand that. I do it for fun, and to keep the air clean. Difference between me and niggas though are my intentions. I may be a charming individual, but I simply press the demo button on the packaging of the action figure. I leave the product in the store where I found it, ya mean?

"Luggage Claim"

I want to give everyone a homework assignment. Watch the movie Love Jones.

I am going to give a basic break down of how you can apply moments in Love Jones to your own life. Lets start from the beginning.

The author/director of the movie seeks to give you a minor introduction of the past of the main characters of the movie, Nina Mosley (Nia Long) and Darius Lovehall (Larenz Tate). The point of the past was to give a glance into what someone experiences and to show how it can become “baggage” later. Baggage is negative, emotional weight that lingers from a previous experience or relationship. First off, all baggage must be checked at the door before entering into a new relationship. Otherwise, you have a bunch of things to deal with before the new relationship can even grow.

You may try to force something or make something new with baggage still in hand, there will always be doors you cannot enter, conversations you cannot have, places you cannot go. You will always end up hitting a brick wall until some closure is formed from the other party.

Baggage is not always bad however. Baggage that has been claimed can be a motivating action or a mind opening realization. It can be a tool for the next relationship and help shield you from certain “attacks” that resemble from a previous relationship. It can help you choose what to look for in a new partner, and what to avoid.

In the movie, Nina has baggage from her last relationship, which was an engagement. In bringing that, she avoids Darius tactics in pursuing her. Though I will say Darius was a bit hasty in his assumption of the type of girl Nina was, thinking dedicating a sexual poem to her and expecting her to want him to jump her bones was not the best approach! That’s because his past comes from a situation of him trying to be a player, which is later explained in the movie.

Bottom line, need to get it together before you and someone else decide to get together.

"Suicidal"

This is a poem I wrote back in high school. I know you like my poetry Teia B, so I posted this for you. Enjoy.

You guys gotta excuse the light amount of entries. Got a lot going on. I promise, there is a lot coming soon.

Poetry is the voice of her eyes and ears. Words that can penetrate another’s heart, causing bloodshed tears. How this person can face hers fears, reinvent herself, and re-step her past destination, into a hateful society she’s facing. She’s lonely in this world, she is the only girl. She’s been through so much She has come to the conclusion, love is worthless, and simply a romantic illusion. She has no mother, raised by her father. So she never understood that without your significant other, life is a lot harder. She cries at night, tears of fright, because she lost her best friend to a stray buller from a gun fight. Hers life was hell, so she kept things to himself. She was so secretive, yet wrote words of great depth. She needs help, but doesn’t have it. She extends out her hand, but it seems like no one wants to grab it. She’s scratching her palms, not sure if hers next action is right or wrong. She has the solution by her side, thinking about her favorite song “My Heart Will Go On” By Celine Dion. “Bang”, the echo of thunder resounds throughout the house. They find her lying dead in the bed with a gunshot wound to the head. And the blood on her spread angrily shouts the words her heart never said. In life, she needed more than what she had. To cure her sadness, she needed a lot more laughs. But now it’s too late. She left an eternal scar on the souls of all the people she knew. She’s gone forever. But the question is, was there something anyone could do?

"The Moment You Have Been Waiting For"

Above is my fav pic of her.

**Below is an exaggeration and is not a real event**

Independent woman. She seems like such a mystery. Yes, we go back, but it’s a vague history. Who is she? I mean, really. A woman so beautiful, she’s candy to any man’s eyes. One glance at her, and I’m instantly hypnotized. She is just under 5 feet high, with a smile brighter than sunrise. But what does it take to get close to her? Is it flowers and Candy? Or does that just get me a cold temperature? Maybe its “Hello, How you doin? I was wondering if I…” But that seems way too direct, and I’m way too shy.

Kind, caring, and especially fun. All wrapped up in the body of one. She is more than she seems, not just a pretty face. The more I take her out, the more I’m entraced. Entranced, I’m sorry, my speech is all wrong. This girl got me trippin, cause she’s the one all along. But I’m moving too fast , its only our third date. It’s just when she landed that sweet kiss on me, I knew it was fate…

Its funny how life is. You never know who you are gonna meet and what their purpose is. Especially when that purpose is not immediately presented. I meet this girl once, and at first it seemed so good with her, but then we just hated each other out the blue. Now four years later, a new friendship has begun. She thinks I can’t figure her out, but little does she know I already have. She is such a sweet girl though. She is a lot of fun, and is ORIGINAL! What does that mean? There is no one out there like her. I like her attitude, I like her swag. She is NOT my girlfriend so please do not take it that way. She just my peeps you know? My intentions with her are pure. I like when she answers my calls cause she always says “Hey Sweet thang!” and it cracks me up.

Just knowing someone with that kinda energy can make your day better if it seems low you know? So I am glad to know her. Though she gives me a headache from time to time. All these dudes be chasing after her, but they don’t know she comes with a warning label, so please read the disclaimer. “An angel until provoked. Then I am a Rottweiler!” She will bite the crap outta you. So I encourage her to keep her head up, cause I know right now she is struggling with a few things and she needs a little support. But she is extremely talented and she is going to excel in life. I guarantee it…

"Guess Who's Back"

Okay So I was tagged by my friend Annitra's Blog and I thought it was cool so decided to commit to it and repost it. Enjoy.

MEME Rules:

1. put your itunes/ music player on shuffle
2. for each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT

[[questions]]
[if someone says "is this okay?, you say?]
Paradise By Sade

[what would best describe your personality?]
Little Weapon By Lupe Fiasco Ft. Bishop G and Nikki Jean

[what do you like in a guy/girl?]
Freeway Ft. Jay Z & Beanie Siegal

[how do feel today?]
All Over Your Body By LSG

[what is your life's purpose?]
A Ballad For A Fallen Soldier By Jay Z

[what is your motto?]
Blow By Rick Ross Ft. Dre

[what do your friends think of you?]
Best Friend By P. Diddy & Mario Winans

[what do you think of your parents?]
In Da Club By Lil Jon & The Eastside Boyz Ft. R. Kelly & Ludacris

[what do you think about very often?]
Blast Off By P. Diddy & The Family

[what is 2+2?]
Mi Amor By Angie Martinez Ft. Jay Z (Why does she pop up in everything I write!)

[what do you think of your best friend?]
I’m Throwed By Paul Wall Ft. Jermaine Dupri

[what do you think of the person you like?]
Sentimental By Kenny G (That is so gay that song popped up)

[what is your life story?]
Thong Song By Sisqo (No Homo!)

[what do you want to be when you grow up?]
Touch Me Wit Ur Handz By DJ Jazzy Jeff Ft. ChinahBlac

[what do you think when you see the person you like?]
Independent Woman, Part II By Destiny’s Child (Funny)

[what do your parents think of you?]
Some Kind Of Wonderful By Talib Kweli

[what will you dance to at your wedding?]
Throw This Money By USDA (Now That is Hilarious!)

[what will they play at your funeral?]
On The Block #1[Interlude] By Lil Wayne (Ok Now thats seriously Scary)

[what is your hobby/interest?]
Best Friend By Toni Braxton

[what is your biggest secret?]
Hark The Herald Angels Sing By Vanessa Williams

[what do you think of your friends?]
Two Words By Kanye West Ft. Mos Def, Freeway & The Harlem Boys Choir

[what should you post this as?]
Guess Who’s Back By Scarface Ft. Jay Z, Beanie Siegal & Kanye West

"Interview With A Vampire"

Below is a recorded conversation with a friend on the topic of “trusting the ex.” A lot of people are uneasy about the ex still being in the picture, or even a significant friend of the opposite sex. Don’t fret my pet, for I have an opinion on that. Now this conversation is situation specific, but you can take the general idea and make it realistic for you. Let the show begin…

ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (2:58:50 PM): Here's a question that I am dealing with…
My boyfriend is friends with Sharon Brown. I don’t care really, but they are just too secretive. Why can’t we all hang out? Why can’t she come around in front of me?
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:02:07 PM): how can I trust that?
Dr. Feel Good (3:02:19 PM): because not all friends need to be mixed
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:02:24 PM): hmmmmmmmmmmm
Dr. Feel Good (3:02:27 PM): wait
Dr. Feel Good (3:02:31 PM): I’m not done
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:02:35 PM): oh ok
Dr. Feel Good (3:03:38 PM): and even if the terms and agreements are permissible, that’s doesn't mean the situation isn’t awkward
Dr. Feel Good (3:04:20 PM): is it selfish to want to prove your own point by FORCING your significant other into that situation?? And not even necessarily your own point, just to get closure from a generated insecurity?
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:04:54 PM): But why is it secretive?
Dr. Feel Good (3:05:34 PM): do you REALLY want to know what they are talking about? Or is it just because it’s them that it seems so secretive
Dr. Feel Good (3:05:42 PM): ask yourself that…
Dr. Feel Good (3:06:00 PM): everyone has a friend that we talk "in code" with
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:06:12 PM): the secretive part makes you suspect something, and they cause the insecurity by being so secretive with another woman
Dr. Feel Good (3:06:15 PM): not saying that’s them, but we are all secretive
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:06:22 PM): oh ok
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:06:31 PM): well let’s break it down some more
Dr. Feel Good (3:06:38 PM): I think you guys are creating your own insecurity
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:07:41 PM): so listen. SB confessed her undying love to my man after she found out we were together... I know they are just friends but that doesn’t mean a girl won’t try to wear the man down.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:08:32 PM): we know these girls are vicious, sneaky, and after the good men.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:08:52 PM): and how long can a man turn down someone EVERYTIME! When she practically throw herself at him!
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:09:15 PM): See I’m cool. I told my man. I don’t care if they are friends
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:09:30 PM): it doesn’t bother me
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:09:39 PM): I don’t want to know their every convo either
Dr. Feel Good (3:09:30 PM): would you say Steven please
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:09:43 PM): lol ok
Dr. Feel Good (3:09:34 PM): but it does
Dr. Feel Good (3:09:38 PM): so don’t lie to him
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:10:23 PM): No. it doesn’t
Dr. Feel Good (3:10:33 PM): yes IT DOES
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:10:35 PM): the secret part does
Dr. Feel Good (3:10:47 PM): you can lie to Steven, you can lie to you, don’t lie to me
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:11:38 PM): but why can’t we all be cool
Dr. Feel Good (3:12:04 PM): point is, if Steven had the same secret talk with me, would you suspect anything? If every time I called, he got up and left, would you care?
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:12:34 PM): no
Dr. Feel Good (3:12:43 PM): exactly
Dr. Feel Good (3:12:54 PM): NOW
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:12:50 PM): exactly what?
Dr. Feel Good (3:13:04 PM): I'm bout to bring it full circle hold on
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:14:59 PM): but I will still wonder what yall was talking about. Not trying to be nosey, but wanting to know everything was ok
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:15:50 PM): I know you didn’t confess your undying love to him too after you found out WE were together
Dr. Feel Good (3:16:39 PM): the reason you DONT like their relationship is because of the trust you don’t have for her. you may be ok with Steven talking to other women, and so you tell yourself its ok because you don’t want to trip on him and make him upset, but the fact is because of her reputation, and maybe their history (I don’t know if they ever dated before, just speculating), you do not TRUST the relationship. So something that is a normal action with Steven and his friends or even with other women, you become suspect of it when talking to Sharon just because of the simple idea that you do not trust HER
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:17:21 PM): ok that maybe true
Dr. Feel Good (3:17:39 PM): he probably acts the same with her, just seems different just because it’s Ms Sharon
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:17:46 PM): because Steven has plenty of female FRIENDS such as Stephanie. I know Stephanie is his homey, I don’t suspect her
Dr. Feel Good (3:18:28 PM): so my point stands
Dr. Feel Good (3:18:34 PM): just tell Steven the truth. Tell him "I do not trust Sharon because …"
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:18:55 PM): I don’t want to control who he's friends with
Dr. Feel Good (3:19:09 PM): that’s not controlling, that’s addressing
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:19:18 PM): well it’s been addressed
Dr. Feel Good (3:19:27 PM): address it again, but differently
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:19:07 PM): I just want to be a part of the relationship
Dr. Feel Good (3:19:16 PM): that’s selfish
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:19:25 PM): what’s selfish?
Dr. Feel Good (3:19:56 PM): wanting to be apart of your boyfriends relationships
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:20:07 PM): so let me ask you this.
Dr. Feel Good (3:20:14 PM): NOW HOLD ON, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:20:33 PM): how is it I can I a part of friendship with Stephanie, whom I never met in the flesh, but not Sharon?
Dr. Feel Good (3:20:48 PM): what I mean is, wait for the invitation. Don’t invite yourself
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:20:53 PM): oh ok
Dr. Feel Good (3:21:34 PM): the situation is delicate, so you have to treat it that way. Because if you over react, it could cost you your relationship. You may say some things out of anger that imply you don’t trust Steven. When really, you just don’t trust her
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:22:26 PM): SEE THAT’S WHY YOU'RE DR FEEL GOOD!
Dr. Feel Good (3:23:06 PM): *pats myself on the back* thank you
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:23:14 PM): it makes sense
Dr. Feel Good (3:23:33 PM): good
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:23:35 PM): I see how he get a little uneasy when she text or calls around me
Dr. Feel Good (3:23:41 PM): yes
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:23:53 PM): but if he doesn’t answer being a woman I’ll probably trip. And if he does answer, he'll hurry and get off and I’ll still be mad.
Dr. Feel Good (3:24:08 PM): because probably thinks its a lose lose situation
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:24:17 PM): I THINK HE DOES
Dr. Feel Good (3:24:32 PM): so what’s the lesser of all the evils? “Just answer normally and do what you usually do.” That’s what he is thinking
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:25:22 PM): you're right
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:25:32 PM): see I don’t want to come off insecure
Dr. Feel Good (3:25:38 PM): exactly
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:25:46 PM): because I don’t feel like it’s the case
Dr. Feel Good (3:25:48 PM): so you must COMMUNICATE THAT
Dr. Feel Good (3:26:06 PM): you have to tell the truth and communicate what you do, and don’t, trust.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:27:08 PM): see pat yourself on the back, again!
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:27:19 PM): it makes sense
Dr. Feel Good (3:27:23 PM): lol
Dr. Feel Good (3:27:36 PM): last thing,
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:29:17 PM): listening
Dr. Feel Good (3:29:35 PM): you have to give him reason to trust you. He probably doesn’t fully trust the fact that "you don’t care about their relationship", and it’s because that’s not fully true. Tell Him how you TRULY feel, so he can TRULY trust you. That way, he doesn’t have to have a heart attack every time she calls when you are around.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:29:52 PM): you think?
Dr. Feel Good (3:30:00 PM): yes
Dr. Feel Good (3:30:25 PM): but you have to be specific and DELICATE
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:30:37 PM): I know. I don’t want to bring it up out the blue
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:00 PM): lol yes please don’t!!
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:06 PM): but be prepared for some disagreeing
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:14 PM): he is going to defend her. Any friend would
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:31:23 PM): he has before, which bothered me before
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:37 PM): don’t let it, you would do the same
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:31:44 PM): I guess
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:49 PM): you would, we all would
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:31:53 PM): but it was my choice
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:32:09 PM): he knows alllll my male friends
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:32:13 PM): they are now his friends and call him
Dr. Feel Good (3:32:16 PM): and?
Dr. Feel Good (3:32:35 PM): that is also your choice to let him in on all that action.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:32:41 PM): ok
Dr. Feel Good (3:32:54 PM): that’s your TRUST LANGUAGE lol
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:33:00 PM): oh lol
Dr. Feel Good (3:33:07 PM): I just made that up, but you get what I am saying
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:33:17 PM): yeah
Dr. Feel Good (3:33:51 PM): because we treat others, in relationships at least, subconsciously how we want to be treated; what we want done to and for us
Dr. Feel Good (3:34:47 PM): so you want that from him, and you think it’s a big deal for Steven to be friends with all your male friends. But to him, if may not mean as much

Dr. Feel Good (3:35:08 PM): heck, he may not even care either way

ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:35:58 PM): yeah
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:36:03 PM): you're right