"Friendship Revisited"

I am troubled by the ability to express featured thoughts and enigmas that weigh heavy on my heart. I don't want to write on the Cloud anymore because the Cloud has the reputation of being based on relationships and my opinion of what to do and not to do. But I am more than that. There is more information imprisoned in my head waiting to be released than some guidebook to how to treat your significant other.




This is no disrespect to those that follow this blog. Its a great way for me to express what I feel, and take requests on what others want to hear about. I feel though that its a hindrance to my overall potential. I need to expand my horizon and write about other realistic topics. Though relationships is my strong suit obviously, it's not easy to come up with new topics all the time.





But there is one thing I want to leave on the Cloud before I retire, a revisiting of friendship.





Someone define friendship for me. Is a true friend the one that sticks by you even when you spit on them, or curse at them, shut them out and disrespect them? Or is that friend too naive to see the other friend for who they truly are? Someone tell me what it takes to be a great friend. Is it the money you spend on them?, or is it the time you spend with them? Is it thoughtful phone calls or text messages when you are sick or tired?, or is it the ability to continue to stand close to them, even though you are so sick and tired? Is it the courage to jump out of a plane with them for excitement (skydiving)?, or the courage to stop them from jumping off a roof when they are frustrated and ready to give up?

I have to conclude that being my friend is a luxury and an opportunity, not a necessity or a duty. I am the most loyal friend you can ever have. I am not deserving of disrespect, though I take it with a smile and continue to stand by you. I am to be appreciated and valued, because my worth never depreciates. I am all the things I asked above. God made me such an individual that cannot be recreated or reciprocated. I have my moments that I am intolerable, but that’s because I have to tolerate others and their foolishness and it has caused me to develop a backbone that I use out of context frequently. So please forgive me to all those I speak abusively to.

This is not a shot at anyone in particular or me venting from an issue that occured today. Its just something that has been on my heart and I have not been able to express it until now when I was listening to my ipod earlier. The word Friend is frivoriously being used out of context, just like the word love. We call everyone friends when a lot of people do not deserve that title. Some people are simply associates and affiliates. Associates are exactly what it sounds like, someone you associate with, while an affiliate is someone you know because there is a common individual that unites you. Otherwise without that common person, you would be strangers.

Everyone is not your friend and we have to remember that, even the ones that really are. All it takes is a moment for their loyalty to be truly tested, and they will fail. Or a moment where they have to chose between your friendship, and their personal agenda. Think about all the great heros and stories alike. Whoever the villian is on the story, they usually have some type of history with the hero and they know the hero personally. Usually some type of friendship or relative. And what happened? The villian wanted to do some action and the hero was against it, so their bond was broken. Same thing applies to us, let something get in the way of our so called friendship, and you will see who is REALLY real.

"Pisces" Pt 2

Pisces Deep Inside:

Pisces have an intuitive and psychic ability more then any other zodiac signs. They trust their gut feelings and if they do not, they quickly learn to because they realize that their hunches are usually correct. Pisces downfall is their sensitivity and their inability to reject another person. They do not like rejection and they try to treat others the way they want to be treated so they will rarely say no to a person for fear of hurting their feelings. They will help another person with their problems and like to do so because making others feel good in turn makes them feel good. Pisces is the zodiac sign of self-undoing. People born under this zodiac sign are not susceptible to bad luck and unfortunate events, they bring them on themselves by overindulging, laziness and a knack for picking poorly suited partners and friends. They want people in their life who stir their emotions because this helps them to practice emotional stability. The inner conflict of Pisces is extremes of temperament and conflicting emotions. They are trying to pinpoint themselves on the real world while their spiritual world can cloud their vision, they will try to escape or avoid a situation instead of confronting it. Pisces eternal struggle is to learn to use their powers and their imagination in a positive, productive way and vying for emotional stability by not giving away their emotions to everyone else, they need to help themselves.

Yet again I am wowed by some of the truths in this caption. All I am going to say is I do not agree with a lot of this caption, but there is some truth in it. I am not afraid to confront issues, but I have tunnel vision meaning I can only fight what’s in front of me, and not around me. I need to develop omni vision. And yes, I do like to read about certain levels of drama in books and I also like to console friends if it’s not too heavy of a topic. And I do have an extreme temperament, no argument there. Overall I feel like everyone has a little bit of every Zodiac sign in them. Personally, I have some serious Gemini tendencies, so does that make me a Gemini? Your personality is your own and is constructed simply by the environment you are raised in. And no book, or fortune teller can or even should tell you otherwise.

"Communication Without Trust"

Darius: “For the last time Nina, Lisa and I are over. You and I are together. So tell me, what is your problem?”
Nina: “How am I suppose to believe that?”
Darius: “Because I just sat here and told you.”
Nina: “Well that’s not good enough.”
Darius: “What are you talking about?”
Nina: “I’m talking about the blackboard, with her phone number on it. I’m talking about the phone calls at 5 am. I’m talking about trying to read your mind…”
Darius: “You don’t know [nothing] about trust. You the one that went to New York and [slept with] old boy.”
Nina: “You acted like you didn’t even care.”

Classic situation of not trusting your partner. Darius says whole heartedly that a woman he was previously dating is no longer an issue, Nina is disagreeing based on the evidence left behind. Darius claims she’s the one not trustworthy since she went out of town to see some ex for closure, when they were beginning a relationship. But Nina only went to because Darius played the “I’m cool” role about it and wanted to prove a point. Really its not that Darius was cool about it, Darius just wasn’t worried since he was doing his “job”.

So now there is this big elephant in the room that no one is speaking on, and because of the silence, it all aggressively came out at once. Bible speaks of being “slow to anger”, and this is one of the main reasons why. Because of Nina’s accusations on Darius, he got so fed up that he broke up with Nina. And judging by the look on her face when Darius spoke those words, that wasn’t her intended outcome of the situation. Letting things linger in the way Nina did, can bring out the opposite of your intentions. Its not just about what you say, it’s how you say it. Food can taste good, but sometimes its presentation will you drive to not even want to find out.

The moral of the story is not whether Darius was lying about dating Lisa, rather that we have to learn to trust what our partner is telling us. Unless it is painfully obvious he/she is lying. I’m not asking you to be naïve of course. Because if you don’t have trust, what do you really have? If you do not trust your partner, then you become this obsessive, insecure stalker who is always challenging the words of your partner, and treating a simple conversation like an FBI interrogation. And who wants that?

I don’t know the solution necessarily because every situation is different. But I do have a theory. That theory is called “understanding.” Communicate with your partner so you can try to understand their point, or whatever their defense is. And really listen to whatever it is they are saying. If you don’t understand how you partner thinks, or the type of decisions they make, then it’s going to be a LONG road ahead of you. Ask rational, intelligent questions without the co-signing of an attitude. And if you do suspect something, do not treat them like you caught them in the act of committing the crime, be normal! Law states, innocent until proven guilty, so keep it that way.

I am going to use myself as an example and then I am done. I am a flirt. Any woman who dates me needs to understand that. I do it for fun, and to keep the air clean. Difference between me and niggas though are my intentions. I may be a charming individual, but I simply press the demo button on the packaging of the action figure. I leave the product in the store where I found it, ya mean?

"Luggage Claim"

I want to give everyone a homework assignment. Watch the movie Love Jones.

I am going to give a basic break down of how you can apply moments in Love Jones to your own life. Lets start from the beginning.

The author/director of the movie seeks to give you a minor introduction of the past of the main characters of the movie, Nina Mosley (Nia Long) and Darius Lovehall (Larenz Tate). The point of the past was to give a glance into what someone experiences and to show how it can become “baggage” later. Baggage is negative, emotional weight that lingers from a previous experience or relationship. First off, all baggage must be checked at the door before entering into a new relationship. Otherwise, you have a bunch of things to deal with before the new relationship can even grow.

You may try to force something or make something new with baggage still in hand, there will always be doors you cannot enter, conversations you cannot have, places you cannot go. You will always end up hitting a brick wall until some closure is formed from the other party.

Baggage is not always bad however. Baggage that has been claimed can be a motivating action or a mind opening realization. It can be a tool for the next relationship and help shield you from certain “attacks” that resemble from a previous relationship. It can help you choose what to look for in a new partner, and what to avoid.

In the movie, Nina has baggage from her last relationship, which was an engagement. In bringing that, she avoids Darius tactics in pursuing her. Though I will say Darius was a bit hasty in his assumption of the type of girl Nina was, thinking dedicating a sexual poem to her and expecting her to want him to jump her bones was not the best approach! That’s because his past comes from a situation of him trying to be a player, which is later explained in the movie.

Bottom line, need to get it together before you and someone else decide to get together.

"Suicidal"

This is a poem I wrote back in high school. I know you like my poetry Teia B, so I posted this for you. Enjoy.

You guys gotta excuse the light amount of entries. Got a lot going on. I promise, there is a lot coming soon.

Poetry is the voice of her eyes and ears. Words that can penetrate another’s heart, causing bloodshed tears. How this person can face hers fears, reinvent herself, and re-step her past destination, into a hateful society she’s facing. She’s lonely in this world, she is the only girl. She’s been through so much She has come to the conclusion, love is worthless, and simply a romantic illusion. She has no mother, raised by her father. So she never understood that without your significant other, life is a lot harder. She cries at night, tears of fright, because she lost her best friend to a stray buller from a gun fight. Hers life was hell, so she kept things to himself. She was so secretive, yet wrote words of great depth. She needs help, but doesn’t have it. She extends out her hand, but it seems like no one wants to grab it. She’s scratching her palms, not sure if hers next action is right or wrong. She has the solution by her side, thinking about her favorite song “My Heart Will Go On” By Celine Dion. “Bang”, the echo of thunder resounds throughout the house. They find her lying dead in the bed with a gunshot wound to the head. And the blood on her spread angrily shouts the words her heart never said. In life, she needed more than what she had. To cure her sadness, she needed a lot more laughs. But now it’s too late. She left an eternal scar on the souls of all the people she knew. She’s gone forever. But the question is, was there something anyone could do?

"The Moment You Have Been Waiting For"

Above is my fav pic of her.

**Below is an exaggeration and is not a real event**

Independent woman. She seems like such a mystery. Yes, we go back, but it’s a vague history. Who is she? I mean, really. A woman so beautiful, she’s candy to any man’s eyes. One glance at her, and I’m instantly hypnotized. She is just under 5 feet high, with a smile brighter than sunrise. But what does it take to get close to her? Is it flowers and Candy? Or does that just get me a cold temperature? Maybe its “Hello, How you doin? I was wondering if I…” But that seems way too direct, and I’m way too shy.

Kind, caring, and especially fun. All wrapped up in the body of one. She is more than she seems, not just a pretty face. The more I take her out, the more I’m entraced. Entranced, I’m sorry, my speech is all wrong. This girl got me trippin, cause she’s the one all along. But I’m moving too fast , its only our third date. It’s just when she landed that sweet kiss on me, I knew it was fate…

Its funny how life is. You never know who you are gonna meet and what their purpose is. Especially when that purpose is not immediately presented. I meet this girl once, and at first it seemed so good with her, but then we just hated each other out the blue. Now four years later, a new friendship has begun. She thinks I can’t figure her out, but little does she know I already have. She is such a sweet girl though. She is a lot of fun, and is ORIGINAL! What does that mean? There is no one out there like her. I like her attitude, I like her swag. She is NOT my girlfriend so please do not take it that way. She just my peeps you know? My intentions with her are pure. I like when she answers my calls cause she always says “Hey Sweet thang!” and it cracks me up.

Just knowing someone with that kinda energy can make your day better if it seems low you know? So I am glad to know her. Though she gives me a headache from time to time. All these dudes be chasing after her, but they don’t know she comes with a warning label, so please read the disclaimer. “An angel until provoked. Then I am a Rottweiler!” She will bite the crap outta you. So I encourage her to keep her head up, cause I know right now she is struggling with a few things and she needs a little support. But she is extremely talented and she is going to excel in life. I guarantee it…

"Guess Who's Back"

Okay So I was tagged by my friend Annitra's Blog and I thought it was cool so decided to commit to it and repost it. Enjoy.

MEME Rules:

1. put your itunes/ music player on shuffle
2. for each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT

[[questions]]
[if someone says "is this okay?, you say?]
Paradise By Sade

[what would best describe your personality?]
Little Weapon By Lupe Fiasco Ft. Bishop G and Nikki Jean

[what do you like in a guy/girl?]
Freeway Ft. Jay Z & Beanie Siegal

[how do feel today?]
All Over Your Body By LSG

[what is your life's purpose?]
A Ballad For A Fallen Soldier By Jay Z

[what is your motto?]
Blow By Rick Ross Ft. Dre

[what do your friends think of you?]
Best Friend By P. Diddy & Mario Winans

[what do you think of your parents?]
In Da Club By Lil Jon & The Eastside Boyz Ft. R. Kelly & Ludacris

[what do you think about very often?]
Blast Off By P. Diddy & The Family

[what is 2+2?]
Mi Amor By Angie Martinez Ft. Jay Z (Why does she pop up in everything I write!)

[what do you think of your best friend?]
I’m Throwed By Paul Wall Ft. Jermaine Dupri

[what do you think of the person you like?]
Sentimental By Kenny G (That is so gay that song popped up)

[what is your life story?]
Thong Song By Sisqo (No Homo!)

[what do you want to be when you grow up?]
Touch Me Wit Ur Handz By DJ Jazzy Jeff Ft. ChinahBlac

[what do you think when you see the person you like?]
Independent Woman, Part II By Destiny’s Child (Funny)

[what do your parents think of you?]
Some Kind Of Wonderful By Talib Kweli

[what will you dance to at your wedding?]
Throw This Money By USDA (Now That is Hilarious!)

[what will they play at your funeral?]
On The Block #1[Interlude] By Lil Wayne (Ok Now thats seriously Scary)

[what is your hobby/interest?]
Best Friend By Toni Braxton

[what is your biggest secret?]
Hark The Herald Angels Sing By Vanessa Williams

[what do you think of your friends?]
Two Words By Kanye West Ft. Mos Def, Freeway & The Harlem Boys Choir

[what should you post this as?]
Guess Who’s Back By Scarface Ft. Jay Z, Beanie Siegal & Kanye West

"Interview With A Vampire"

Below is a recorded conversation with a friend on the topic of “trusting the ex.” A lot of people are uneasy about the ex still being in the picture, or even a significant friend of the opposite sex. Don’t fret my pet, for I have an opinion on that. Now this conversation is situation specific, but you can take the general idea and make it realistic for you. Let the show begin…

ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (2:58:50 PM): Here's a question that I am dealing with…
My boyfriend is friends with Sharon Brown. I don’t care really, but they are just too secretive. Why can’t we all hang out? Why can’t she come around in front of me?
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:02:07 PM): how can I trust that?
Dr. Feel Good (3:02:19 PM): because not all friends need to be mixed
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:02:24 PM): hmmmmmmmmmmm
Dr. Feel Good (3:02:27 PM): wait
Dr. Feel Good (3:02:31 PM): I’m not done
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:02:35 PM): oh ok
Dr. Feel Good (3:03:38 PM): and even if the terms and agreements are permissible, that’s doesn't mean the situation isn’t awkward
Dr. Feel Good (3:04:20 PM): is it selfish to want to prove your own point by FORCING your significant other into that situation?? And not even necessarily your own point, just to get closure from a generated insecurity?
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:04:54 PM): But why is it secretive?
Dr. Feel Good (3:05:34 PM): do you REALLY want to know what they are talking about? Or is it just because it’s them that it seems so secretive
Dr. Feel Good (3:05:42 PM): ask yourself that…
Dr. Feel Good (3:06:00 PM): everyone has a friend that we talk "in code" with
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:06:12 PM): the secretive part makes you suspect something, and they cause the insecurity by being so secretive with another woman
Dr. Feel Good (3:06:15 PM): not saying that’s them, but we are all secretive
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:06:22 PM): oh ok
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:06:31 PM): well let’s break it down some more
Dr. Feel Good (3:06:38 PM): I think you guys are creating your own insecurity
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:07:41 PM): so listen. SB confessed her undying love to my man after she found out we were together... I know they are just friends but that doesn’t mean a girl won’t try to wear the man down.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:08:32 PM): we know these girls are vicious, sneaky, and after the good men.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:08:52 PM): and how long can a man turn down someone EVERYTIME! When she practically throw herself at him!
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:09:15 PM): See I’m cool. I told my man. I don’t care if they are friends
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:09:30 PM): it doesn’t bother me
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:09:39 PM): I don’t want to know their every convo either
Dr. Feel Good (3:09:30 PM): would you say Steven please
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:09:43 PM): lol ok
Dr. Feel Good (3:09:34 PM): but it does
Dr. Feel Good (3:09:38 PM): so don’t lie to him
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:10:23 PM): No. it doesn’t
Dr. Feel Good (3:10:33 PM): yes IT DOES
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:10:35 PM): the secret part does
Dr. Feel Good (3:10:47 PM): you can lie to Steven, you can lie to you, don’t lie to me
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:11:38 PM): but why can’t we all be cool
Dr. Feel Good (3:12:04 PM): point is, if Steven had the same secret talk with me, would you suspect anything? If every time I called, he got up and left, would you care?
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:12:34 PM): no
Dr. Feel Good (3:12:43 PM): exactly
Dr. Feel Good (3:12:54 PM): NOW
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:12:50 PM): exactly what?
Dr. Feel Good (3:13:04 PM): I'm bout to bring it full circle hold on
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:14:59 PM): but I will still wonder what yall was talking about. Not trying to be nosey, but wanting to know everything was ok
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:15:50 PM): I know you didn’t confess your undying love to him too after you found out WE were together
Dr. Feel Good (3:16:39 PM): the reason you DONT like their relationship is because of the trust you don’t have for her. you may be ok with Steven talking to other women, and so you tell yourself its ok because you don’t want to trip on him and make him upset, but the fact is because of her reputation, and maybe their history (I don’t know if they ever dated before, just speculating), you do not TRUST the relationship. So something that is a normal action with Steven and his friends or even with other women, you become suspect of it when talking to Sharon just because of the simple idea that you do not trust HER
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:17:21 PM): ok that maybe true
Dr. Feel Good (3:17:39 PM): he probably acts the same with her, just seems different just because it’s Ms Sharon
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:17:46 PM): because Steven has plenty of female FRIENDS such as Stephanie. I know Stephanie is his homey, I don’t suspect her
Dr. Feel Good (3:18:28 PM): so my point stands
Dr. Feel Good (3:18:34 PM): just tell Steven the truth. Tell him "I do not trust Sharon because …"
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:18:55 PM): I don’t want to control who he's friends with
Dr. Feel Good (3:19:09 PM): that’s not controlling, that’s addressing
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:19:18 PM): well it’s been addressed
Dr. Feel Good (3:19:27 PM): address it again, but differently
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:19:07 PM): I just want to be a part of the relationship
Dr. Feel Good (3:19:16 PM): that’s selfish
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:19:25 PM): what’s selfish?
Dr. Feel Good (3:19:56 PM): wanting to be apart of your boyfriends relationships
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:20:07 PM): so let me ask you this.
Dr. Feel Good (3:20:14 PM): NOW HOLD ON, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:20:33 PM): how is it I can I a part of friendship with Stephanie, whom I never met in the flesh, but not Sharon?
Dr. Feel Good (3:20:48 PM): what I mean is, wait for the invitation. Don’t invite yourself
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:20:53 PM): oh ok
Dr. Feel Good (3:21:34 PM): the situation is delicate, so you have to treat it that way. Because if you over react, it could cost you your relationship. You may say some things out of anger that imply you don’t trust Steven. When really, you just don’t trust her
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:22:26 PM): SEE THAT’S WHY YOU'RE DR FEEL GOOD!
Dr. Feel Good (3:23:06 PM): *pats myself on the back* thank you
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:23:14 PM): it makes sense
Dr. Feel Good (3:23:33 PM): good
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:23:35 PM): I see how he get a little uneasy when she text or calls around me
Dr. Feel Good (3:23:41 PM): yes
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:23:53 PM): but if he doesn’t answer being a woman I’ll probably trip. And if he does answer, he'll hurry and get off and I’ll still be mad.
Dr. Feel Good (3:24:08 PM): because probably thinks its a lose lose situation
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:24:17 PM): I THINK HE DOES
Dr. Feel Good (3:24:32 PM): so what’s the lesser of all the evils? “Just answer normally and do what you usually do.” That’s what he is thinking
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:25:22 PM): you're right
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:25:32 PM): see I don’t want to come off insecure
Dr. Feel Good (3:25:38 PM): exactly
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:25:46 PM): because I don’t feel like it’s the case
Dr. Feel Good (3:25:48 PM): so you must COMMUNICATE THAT
Dr. Feel Good (3:26:06 PM): you have to tell the truth and communicate what you do, and don’t, trust.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:27:08 PM): see pat yourself on the back, again!
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:27:19 PM): it makes sense
Dr. Feel Good (3:27:23 PM): lol
Dr. Feel Good (3:27:36 PM): last thing,
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:29:17 PM): listening
Dr. Feel Good (3:29:35 PM): you have to give him reason to trust you. He probably doesn’t fully trust the fact that "you don’t care about their relationship", and it’s because that’s not fully true. Tell Him how you TRULY feel, so he can TRULY trust you. That way, he doesn’t have to have a heart attack every time she calls when you are around.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:29:52 PM): you think?
Dr. Feel Good (3:30:00 PM): yes
Dr. Feel Good (3:30:25 PM): but you have to be specific and DELICATE
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:30:37 PM): I know. I don’t want to bring it up out the blue
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:00 PM): lol yes please don’t!!
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:06 PM): but be prepared for some disagreeing
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:14 PM): he is going to defend her. Any friend would
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:31:23 PM): he has before, which bothered me before
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:37 PM): don’t let it, you would do the same
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:31:44 PM): I guess
Dr. Feel Good (3:31:49 PM): you would, we all would
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:31:53 PM): but it was my choice
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:32:09 PM): he knows alllll my male friends
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:32:13 PM): they are now his friends and call him
Dr. Feel Good (3:32:16 PM): and?
Dr. Feel Good (3:32:35 PM): that is also your choice to let him in on all that action.
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:32:41 PM): ok
Dr. Feel Good (3:32:54 PM): that’s your TRUST LANGUAGE lol
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:33:00 PM): oh lol
Dr. Feel Good (3:33:07 PM): I just made that up, but you get what I am saying
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:33:17 PM): yeah
Dr. Feel Good (3:33:51 PM): because we treat others, in relationships at least, subconsciously how we want to be treated; what we want done to and for us
Dr. Feel Good (3:34:47 PM): so you want that from him, and you think it’s a big deal for Steven to be friends with all your male friends. But to him, if may not mean as much

Dr. Feel Good (3:35:08 PM): heck, he may not even care either way

ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:35:58 PM): yeah
ANGRY BLACK WOMAN (3:36:03 PM): you're right

"Rebound"

Dating is a dangerous game, so make sure you know how to play. Even if you THINK you know everything, you better keep that “guide” handy, otherwise you will find yourself in a situation wondering how you got there. One of those situations could be rebounding. Let me tell you, better to be the rebounder, than the reboundee.

Rebounding is the act of expressing emotions you feel with one person on another. It’s meeting a guy or girl by chance or mistake, and treating them with the same love you had for another person that you yearn to show it to. Rebounding can also be the act of letting someone else treat you like you want to be treated, like for example the emotional need of feeling wanted. Mainly a female trait, but letting some guy, or girl, tell you how much they love you, or let them take you out all the time, or buy you gifts, is just as bad as leading someone on. All you are doing is filling a void that has been left in your heart. But what you don’t realize at the time is, that liquid you are filling your heart with is transparent. And even though it has mass and takes up space, you see right through it, and it has no real meaning or substance because it doesn’t replace what was lost. Rebounding is such a deceitful act emotionally because only ONE of the people in the relationship knows, “everything you are doing is really a waste of time for you, because I don’t really want to be with you, I am just using you to get what I need.”

Rebounding can be an emotional release that is needed to move on, but it is definitely a selfish act. There is no righteousness in rebounding, no virtue in its false effigy of how you really feel. Its authenticity is that of a cubic zirconium, which is manufactured by man and not by au naturel. Does it help? Yes. Makes it easier to cope, but leaves a deadly wound on the victims heart. A wound so profound, it could cause them to trust no one, and shut everyone out. Become a one man show in trying to be successful in life and seek help from no one just so he can say, “I did it without you.” He might even seek revenge and “rebound” on every woman he can get his hands on.

What is the cause of rebounding? Typically major break up. You lose someone you really loved usually over something minor, and once your anger or frustration fads, you begin to miss them. You want what you had back and now you seek it in anyone’s face. You give the guy who doesn’t deserve a chance, an opportunity. You look twice at the unattractive guy you wouldn’t normally pursue simply because he approached you. All the while you are secretly contacting and negotiating with your ex for a second chance, rather your ex gives you the time of day or not. Once you get closure from the last relationship, or you renew it and your heart is finally resuscitated, your mind realizes you are stuck in a dead end relationship because this person is not who you really want.

Now your attitude changes dramatically towards them, now you hate the simple things about them. You find reasons to argue because you are honestly upset that you let yourself get caught in this enigma and you need a way to end it quickly. All this because your heart was broken and you sought the easy way to mend it. Such selfishness is not tolerated in karma’s book, and it will come back on you. I know, because I have been both the rebounder, and reboundee. So take it from me, be careful who you give your heart to. And most importantly, don’t get something started you do not intend to finish. You might wake up and realize that the special someone you have been dating for 2 years, never intended to finish it with you from the beginning.

"Cause, I'ma Flirt"

So a certain someone is attempting to CONFRONT me and say I play too many games. I play with women’s hearts and I end up breaking them, so I have been code named, “heartbreak hotel.” What a rude nickname! But unfortunately it may be true. I have some demons in my past, so I am definitely afraid of Karma at this point. But I still stand true to the genius revelation of Big Pun, "I'm Not A Playa, I Just Crush A Lot"

So the question has been raised where do you draw the line? When is it NOT ok to flirt? Well that’s an easy answer. I will flirt with anyone, anywhere, at anytime and think nothing of it. It’s when you begin to entertain the ideas you were originally falsely promoting is when the problem comes. It’s when you get carried away and start getting phone numbers and actually calling them. It’s when you say to your girl “I’m hanging with the fellas” knowing you going out with Stacey from Cold Stone. I was so bad, back in the ‘day day’ as Mi Amor would say, I use to replace girls names I was kickin it with with Guy names in my phone. So Kelly = Kevin. Ashley = Ashton. Sharon = Shaun. Get the picture. Man I thought I was slick!!!

Why do I flirt? I do it all mainly for entertainment. I flirt with women behind counters at registers, sales associates, waiters, all that. Makes the experience more fun and memorable while waiting in line or on my food. I am definitely a midnight story women tell their friends about. “Girl, I met this INSANE guy today at work. He was off the wall.” Rather they laugh with me or at me is irrelevant because I had fun in the process and that’s all that matters. I also do it because it helps me sell things better. So when a mother and daughter come in, I always say “you guys sisters?” The mother eats it up!!! The daughter laughs. It’s a wonderful ice breaker to get the momentum going in the sale.

But I understand the message it might send from the outside looking in. The insecurity behind the uncertainty of your motives can definitely cause some confusion with the opposite sex, especially if we are dating. This insecurity has valid reasoning, so I will not dismiss its convection. However, what about trust? Communication? If you trust me then there will be no issues. Now I am not asking you to be naïve about it, but if you don’t see me acting distant towards you, or my behavior doesn’t change, then you have nothing to worry about.

Mi Amor is rather aware that no woman comes before her so my flirting does not bother her as much. She is rather cocky about the situation if I might say so, that there is not a woman out there that competes with her and my love for her. And trust me, she communicates that to me very well!

So does it really all boil down to confidence? Sure does. That’s why you see the ugliest guys with the baddest girls. They all have confidence in themselves and women see that. Be confident that you, as my girlfriend, have my hearts undivided attention. And that’s what matters most. Unless Christina Millian comes along, then you might have a problem.