"Where..."

This is going to be out of my normal style because it involves some minor verbal abuse. Where are all the real people? I am tired of helping people who are pretending to be my friends, when really they are not worth the garbage I throw away. I am tired of devoting myself to others and giving up my own happiness just to satisfy someone else. I am tired of putting myself on the line and sacrificing all that I have for people. I realize I make choices and I have to live with its consequences, but I am sick of people not willing to sacrifice for me. DO SOMETHING FOR ME FOR A CHANGE. COME TO MY AID WHEN I NEED YOU.

It seems like I am always there for other people in their desperate hour, but when it’s my turn, my so called "peeps" are about as populated as Iowa. Do you know anyone who lives in Iowa, or even from there? EXACTLY. I have found myself full of anger and ready to manifest it into something violent which is why I am voicing my heart through this keyboard. I am in a state of unrest and I am ready to make someone feel my frustration. Anger has gotten the best of me at the moment, and I am now a slave to it.

So where are all the real people in my life? Where is the person who I can call on and say "I need you" and they respond without hesitation, "I am here for you." Where is the person willing to sacrifice for me? Where is the person who has my best interest in mind and is here to support my stumbling feet? WHERE! Where is the person who puts there own feelings aside to assist me like I do for them, in my darkest moment?

All I ask for is Loyalty. I am the most loyal person you will ever meet. I will stand by you even if you flee from me. I will hug you even if you spit in my face, or stab me in the back. I love you. Where are the people with the unconditional love around here? Why can’t someone love me like I love them? I don't mean treat me the same way, I mean have a deep-rooted affection for me that compels them to strengthen me when I am fatigued. WHERE IS MY HELP!?

Where is the person that loves me so much and knows me so well they can tell when I am lying about my feelings, and when I am sincere. Where is the person who can see my pain a mile away and it hurts them to see me in such defeat, they offer me comfort? I don't need a solution from anyone, but I do like to be attended to when I am wounded. Is that too much to ask? I do it for you ALL the time!!

When does it end? When it is it my turn to feel good? When is it my turn to walk across some of that green grass and stain my shoe? When is my path going to present itself and say "Follow me?" When am I going to be forgiven, and not tormented? I am wrapped in such a ball of confusion, I spend time doing simple things just to find comfort in them because I am surrounded by complexity. GOD PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME! RELEASE ME FROM THESE BONDS!

I need space. And I need it now...

“Chemistry VS Compatibility” Pt 2

I want to expand on the idea of “Chemistry VS Compatibility” for a second. Compatibility is also a when two people come together and their goals, morals, aspirations, values, and characteristics are parallel. It’s having the same beliefs. Being a different person externally, but the same internally. It’s like having a Dell computer, but adding a HP hard drive to it. Different company, but the same TYPE of hard drive.

I went to the movies once with a special someone to see The Love Guru. Now before we actually went, everyone I knew told me that movie was whack and I didn’t want to go. But the special someone insisted that we go, and because her happiness overrides my own, I agreed with complete sincerity. We never laughed so hard together in our lives! I mean, our laughter was so compulsive and boisterous, if the movie theater had not been empty, we would surely have been kicked out! We laughed until our cheeks were numb and our tear ducts were dry. The moral of the story is our characteristic compatibility allows us to enjoy each others company, without forcing it.

Being compatible is not just about laughing at a movie though. Its about being able to consult one another’s opinion and have the same ideal. To be able to discuss what’s important to you and not just be in endless agreement, but bring a different angle of the story. It’s the same coin, just a different side. You can talk anywhere from Spirituality to your political position. Yes, there will be moments of disagreement, and that’s because we are human. But disagreeing with me doesn’t mean to disown me. Differences actually help better understand the individual. You never know, you might even change your position after a valid explanation. And isn’t that what dating is all about, a means to understand someone?

You hear me, but you ain’t listening.

Chemistry is just being able to interact. Take the same story of going to the movies. Now let’s say I went to the movies with someone else to see The Love Guru in stead of that special someone. This new person may laugh, but its not the same. We laugh because it’s funny at times, but there is no connection. We may have the chemistry to like movies in general, but we don’t like the SAME movies. We do not laugh at the same things. Chemistry will bring you to the movies, but compatibility allows you to enjoy the movie TOGETHER. The experience is just that much more enchanting.

Someone asked, “Can the compatibility be there, but the chemistry be lost?” The answer is the chemistry is not lost, the romance has just ceased. And what is the definition of romance? Lorenz Tate said it best in the movie “Love Jones.” Tate said, “Romance is about the possibility.” “So when people say the romance is dead, that’s not true. What they really mean, is they have exhausted the possibilities.”

I got more coming so just hold on til next time…

"Chemistry VS Compatiblity"

"The interaction of one personality with another"
- Chemistry

"Capable of orderly, efficient integration and operation with other elements in a system with no modification or conversion required; capable of existing or living together in harmony"
- Compatibility

"You can have chemistry without compatibility, but you cannot have compatibility without chemistry."

The Question has been raised to define the difference between having chemistry with someone, and being compatible with them. Very good question. Chemistry is just simply the ability to mix. Compatibility is the ability to mix and still be the same flavor, and in some cases, enhance it. Its like having a traditional Margarita, but instead of having 1800 Silver in it, you add Patrone. The addition does not change the flavor of the Margarita, just adjusts it slightly. However, chemistry is just like adding ice to the “Margarita” and watering it down.

Chemistry is the ability to hold a conversation with someone without losing interest rapidly, and frequently. Compatibility is the electricity of a conversation that is profound, keeping you grounded, and not wanting it to cease. So how do you know you have Chemistry or compatibility? Well, what are your topics of conversation? If you are talking about the latest apparel constantly, then you are just in endless agreement. But if the topics are of importance, expressing measures of your intelligence and learning from each other, then we are getting somewhere. Analyze who it is you are talking to, and what they are saying. This is where you find out rather the relationship is either a stuffed animal, or a puppy. Both fun, but what’s the difference? One is WAY more interactive than the other, and actually “real.”

When I asked Christina how she met her fiancé Jonathan, this is what Christina had to say. “... we hit it off great...ummmm his headline was a lyric to one of lupe fiasco's songs… so i decided to send him a note and in it i didnt put [nothing] else except the rest of the lyric… ummm we ended up being on the phone that night… talked every [freaking] day str8… if we wasn't talkin we was textin… and i think on the 4th day we hooked up” This is a prime example of chemistry MASQUERADING as compatibility. Sounded so good on the surface, but in the end, all Jonathan did was drop a couple of cubes in Christina’s “Margarita.” The relationship was based off the High of the moment, instead of its “sabor” or essence. This is chemistry in its most confusing form, being momentary and physical. It swoops down like a peregrine falcon and captures you in its appearance. But it doesn’t always have a happy ending because in this case, the engagement was silenced after Christina saw Jonathan’s TRUE colors.

You can still have a relationship with someone based off Chemistry, but the experience is not as savoring or prosperous as a relationship based off compatibility. When speaking to Frank about how he feels about his “Running Mate” Tiffany, he had this to say. “… She is such a strong woman that it’s like I don’t even deserve to be her friend, let alone her man... She inspires me to do the right thing, to make the right decisions… She brings the best out of me… She is my strength in my moments of fatigue…” Frank is smiling all the while he is making these wondrous claims. When Frank met Tiffany, he was sipping on a “Margarita” too, and Tiffany added that good ‘ole Patrone, amplifying its essence. You can tell its something spiritual between them rather they are under the microscope of the public, or the seclusion of their home.

So what did we learn today? To check the pulse of your relationship through conversation and interaction, and ask yourself, “Is this even alive?”

" I Don't See Nothing Wrong..." - The Original

Back by popular demand is the entry I originally took down because I thought it was too vulgar. But I was told it was fine so read it if you like. It has been untouched and unedited because I want to see if anyone dislikes it.

Warning! This is definitely rated NC-17. Not because it is graphic, but because its an issue only the mature can stand to read. Please note this should be read with some maturity, and do not get caught up in moments where I might become “descriptive”, thinking I am trying to be freaky. I have to use examples in order to make my point, so grow up.

I have to be careful when speaking on the subject so bare with me if it is lengthy. Today’s focus is sex and the two different types, Pre-marital and Post-marital. So to make this flow a lot less vulgar and even borderline offensive, let’s replace the three letter word with another, “lay.”

Let’s start with “laying” down under pre-marital circumstances. First off, above anything else, it is a sin against our Heavenly Father. Fornication is one of the things God tells us to stay away from because He knows the consequences. Believe me, the price to play the game is steep. Anything from babies, to the sadness of miscarriages. The punishment may not be instant, but it’s almost always severe without repenting.

This version of “laying” is that of a mishandled drug, such as aspirin. Aspirin has its designated purpose, to suppress any type of aching muscle. In the words of Katt Williams, “But if you take thirteen of them [thangs], it will be yo last head ache.” “Laying” before being married with an individual can be dangerous, even deadly. Just think of the AIDS epidemic that is sweeping across America in the African community.

You can even think of “laying” in a different aspect, but same type of abused medicine, such as Nyquil. Nyquil contains an ingredient called doxylamine succinate, an antihistamine, or a more interesting term, hypnotic. Some people need Nyquil because they like to be “put to bed.” Others need Dayquil because they like the energy it spawns, and it helps get the day started, just as Martin Lawrence relates to in Bad Boys I, “I’m a better cop when I get ‘some’ in the morning. I feel lighter on my feet.”

This is where it gets “creative”, so if you wish to skip this next paragraph please do so now.

Different acts of expression, or for a less sensitive term, “variations” of pre-marital “laying” can also define ones hidden characteristics. I am going to speak in computer dialogue for a moment. A woman who likes her hard drive backed up is usually a woman who is indecisive and likes to be dominated. She likes when a man tells her what to do, where to go, and how to act, and are always the ones complaining about love and how they haven’t found it. A woman who likes to have her IM chat overriding other windows is a sign that she is independent and likes to be in control of everything. These are the same women that a lot of men fear. These same rules apply to men as well, it’s just the reverse.

A youth pastor was talking to his students, who are high school students from 9th – 12th grade, about receiving a car. He asked, “How many of you would like a car?” They all raised their hand. Then he said, “Picture this, there are two options on the table. Option number one is a used Volvo. Option number two is a Porsche 911. Here is the catch. The Volvo has some miles on it, is in ok condition, and will get you from A to B, but you obtain it right now. Option number two is a Porsche 911 that you have to wait five years for, but its brand new, fully loaded, and has everything you want. Which would you choose?” Some people said the Porsche, but others said the Volvo. They chose the Volvo because they wanted to drive NOW. They wanted to have what is to come now, not realizing its BARELY fulfilling. Its just to say “I have a car.” I ask you the same question. Why settle for what only amounts to “satisfying”, when you can have what you truly “desire” if you wait? Which leads me to the next version, Post-marital

"Slow Down"

"Niggas run past what they need, chasing after what they want..." (Talib Kweli)

In life we are so busy trying to obtain what seems impossible at the moment, instead of just stopping to smell the roses. As humans, we live in the moment and when we see something we want, we try to do what it takes to have it. I say we turn over a new leaf and put that same energy and drive into developing patience and wisdom. The patience to seek those things when the time comes, and the wisdom to know when that time is. How many people have ever seen a shirt they like, or a coat, or some electronic gizmo, and drooled over it some much and said "forget it, I'm buying it!", knowing thats rent money? And then 2 months later, its on sale or some other gadget comes out thats better than what you have and now you want it? Yeah, see thats what happens when God pulls you over for speeding. I am a victim too so do not feel bad. Plus it could be worse. But there is a time and place to obtain the things we desire, and a time to just be thankful for what we do have, and sometimes, just settle for what we need. And let me be the first to tell you, the grass is DEFINITELY greener on the other side. Sometimes we get the things we so called "can't live without" just to find out its not even close to what we were lusting over it for.

Its 4:40 in the morning and I am awake thinking about the things I am chasing after, when I need to be grateful for what I have. One of the things I am lusting over, chasing after, and sometimes suffering over, is the one thing I need to be MOST patient about. I pray God that you instill that patience I need in me and you reveal to me what is on the "agenda" for the subject. But I ask these things be done according to Your will and they be presented to me in a time that You feel is appropriate for me. Until then, BE PATIENT. I am MORE than grateful for what I do have, and I thank God that I have it. But its one of those things that I think I can't live without, when really, I live because of it.

"I Don't See Nothing Wrong..." Pt 1

I apologize to all those who read this entry already, and to those who may have wanted to read it, but I had to take it down. I don't feel like it conveys the message I want heard so I am going to start all over again with it. Look for it in the future.

"Afterthoughts" - Before I Say 'I Do' Pt 9

I want to make one thing clear. This is not a hand guide on how to make a marriage work. I wrote this for stimulation purposes. I want us all to get a better understanding of what it means to marry, not the means in which to carry it out.

There are a few more things to think about in marriage, and one of them is “definition.” What is the true definition behind your conduct between one another? What is your true definition behind your words? What is the true definition that drives your love? These are all questions to ask yourself before you select your running mate, or even when you have selected them, but definitely before you say ‘I Do.’ When it comes to conduct, start exercising the platinum rule, “Treat others how THEY want to be treated.” With speech, it has more substance to say, “I would die for you”, than to say, “I would die without you.” Just ask Jesus. The motivating force behind your love is how you want to be treated and spoken to in your “Love Language.” “(Read the book, “the 5 love languages” to understand more)

Last thing is trials and tribulations. Arguments should not separate you and your running mate, it should bring you closer. Closer to understanding the individual, closer to your mate understanding you. Learning the differences between each other, and the similarities. Learning how we express what we mean, and how we interpret what you say. We disagree with everyone on something, so its nothing to cry over. Its all about what that something is and how often it surfaces. I know its hard to come across someone who you think is attractive, is intelligent, and all that jazz. But I leave you with one absolution, the moment you stop looking is the moment you find what you are seeking.

"The Final Stand" - Before I Say 'I Do' Pt 8

Now that we know what actions to perform, what conduct to display, what character to possess, and spiritually welded with our running mate sent by God, its time to really start marking off those things on the spiritual agenda. As we walk with God and follow closely to Him with our running mate, its time we shine up our Armour Of God and really put it to use.

Having our loins, girted with truth. The truth being when people look at us, they don’t see just see us, they see the character of God in us. Throwing on the breastplate of righteousness because it’s what we cover our heart with and separates us as believers. Our feet are shod with the preparation of peace because not only do we walk with God, but we also run to tell the Gospel and the peace God has given us. We must grab our shield of faith, for if we believe in God wholeheartedly, then there is nothing we can not withstand when we put God before us. We put on our helmet of salvation because we know we are saved through the blood of Jesus that’s spilled over His head, and through that knowledge do we stay motivated to continue to fight. And finally swinging the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. By studying to show ourselves approved unto God we fight the spirits of fornication and adultery. The spirits of envy, hatred, idolatry, emulations, and all other things God has deemed to be works of the Flesh. We use the sword to cut down the trees and bushes of the enemy that blocks the view of our destination.

And one thing is for certain, you definitely need a partner during all of this. Because God saw fit to cover your head, heart, legs, and chest, but purposely did not cover your back. That because if you fight alone, you will be wounded from behind because you can not see everywhere at once. But if your running mate is on they job, standing behind you, being your support, your backbone in the places where you are weakest, then there is no way you can falter. That followed swiftly behind God pointing you in the right direction, you are ready to take on the world, and to fulfill your destiny.

* Genesis 2:21 – 25; Genesis 39:2-9; Acts 15:29; I Corinthians 6:18, 10:13; Jude 24-25; Matthew 6:1-4; Galations 5:16-24; Ephesians 6:12-19; II Timothy 2:15

"Face To Face" - Before I Say 'I Do' Pt 7

In the bible it speaks how a man should cleave to his wife. The definition of cleave in greek means welding. When two people get married, they become one flesh. This is important to think about because we need to be pure to each other. One person being righteous and another pretending, in the end will equal chaos. Like I spoke in “The Importance of Character”, hiding one mask beneath another, the hidden characteristics will be molded in as well. Look at Harvey Dent/Two Face.

Though his character was obviously scarred, it is a great representation of what happens when the welding goes wrong. When God does the welding, He welds spiritually. When we as humans try and do the welding, its always through emotion, or physical attraction. This form of welding always equals issues. Two Face was created through the emotion of loosing his fiancé Rachel. He felt like he lost his better half, so he replaced it with evil. Since Harvey and Rachel came together through emotion, when he lost her, he had no one else to turn to, nothing left. But when God molds you, if you ever lose your other half, you know you always have God to comfort you. God will be your husband/wife until He gives you someone else, or you go and be with Him.

“If a broken person mends with another broken person, or even a whole person, it creates broken children. Then those children grow up to do the same and the cycle continues.” (Solomon Kinloch Jr.) We have to come together properly not just for us, but for our children too. And for all the people who grew up in a household where our parents were always in a disagreement, you know what I mean. We have to let God do the welding. Only ten percent of a marriage is suppose to be bad. And that’s only because we are still human no matter what, so there will be conflict. But when we come together on human agreements, it’s a lot worse than that.

The devil also tries to sneak into your household and break the bond God has created. He will try to make things seem worse than they are, and have you over reacting about who drank the last of the milk. We have to remember "we wrestle not against flesh and blood.." In order to withstand those fiery darts, we must have on the full Armour of God.

* Genesis 2:21 – 25; Genesis 39:2-9; Acts 15:29; I Corinthians 6:18, 10:13; Jude 24-25; Matthew 6:1-4; Galations 5:16-24; Ephesians 6:12-19

"Just As I Am" - Before I Say 'I Do' Pt 6

Below is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to Mi Amor.

“My sister was telling me about a young pastor she was listening to once and he was talking about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. When they ate the forbidden fruit, their eyes were opened. You know the story already I am sure. They covered their bodies with figs because they were naked. But its deeper than that, they were hiding the things they were ashamed of. She was telling me how when you love a person, you can not have those figs. You should be naked to each other. You should love everything about them. Embrace the things they hide in dark corners and make them feel safe about it. Comfort them. Just as God would comfort you. I was getting blown away but she wasn’t done. She also spoke about how when Jesus rose from the dead. When He was among His disciples, to prove He had risen, He told I think Peter to touch Him in the places where He was wounded. She said to let someone touch your wounds, it hurts. So you only show what really hurts you to your real friend.”

The rest of the letter was for her eyes only, but I want people to understand how important the meaning of coming naked to your running mate really is. Once God presents His person of choice, just like we come open to Him, we should be open to each other. Show our running mates the things that hurt us most. We can not cover up those things we are ashamed of. We have to be true to each other and not fall for the extensions of the person we meet. A lot of women wanted to jump on my band wagon when they found out the kind of car I drive. This is the example of someone just liking you because of what you have to offer.

Have you ever talked to someone and felt dumber after having that conversation? Have you ever had so many options in front of you at store you don’t buy anything because you are too unsure? That’s what happened when Adam and Eve bit the forbidden fruit, it gave them too many options, and too much knowledge. They became too aware of their surroundings and began to make decisions of their own, instead of following God. Things that are tempting on the surface are usually not good for you. That’s why God had them eating from the tree of life, because it represents all the things that edify the body to grow in the spirit of positivity.

Now that we are eating from the tree of life by reading God’s word and practicing it, we have to present ourselves with complete honestly to our future running mate. Yes there are things about us that we are not proud off, but we have to show those things to our running mates, and believe me, they will accept you. They will except you because they have issues themselves. When we get married, two people become one, operating as a single unit. One team, one dream.

* Genesis 2:21 – 25; Genesis 39:2-9; Acts 15:29; I Corinthians 6:18, 10:13; Jude 24-25; Matthew 6:1-4; Galations 5:16-24

"Choosing A Running Mate" - Before I Say 'I Do' Pt 5

We have to be ready for our running mate sent by God. A friend of mine was saying “I have to fight this feeling I have for a guy I know! I am not ready for it! Is that evil?” I thought to myself, “Deep question. It may seem like you are evil, but what you are really doing is preventing a good thing from turning evil. This is due to you not being ready to treat it like the good thing it is.” Same is true with everyone and God’s choice for us. We have to be ready for it.

But before God shows us our running mate, we have to have our spiritual agenda. Your spiritual agenda is like Obama’s economic plan for the country. Only difference is, it’s not about just improving yourself, it’s about devoting yourself to God’s will and making yourself a vessel unto him. And your running mate will be the earthly support to help bring you closer to that destiny. Though you and your running mate have different paths as far as what your part to play is on the stage of life, it should still all be done to edify God.

I am using a political simile of the Obama and Biden campaign because they should have the same democratic agenda. Obama took his time picking his running mate, getting all kind of confirmation before introducing him to America. Now I don’t know what the process of elimination Obama used to pick Biden, but I am sure it was a difficult and strenuous one. This is the same thing God puts us through.

The importance of me bringing up the matter is that Biden is not trying to replace Obama, but simply be the backbone of his ambitions of becoming president. Once there, he will be in the shadows just in case, while Obama works with his presidential cabinet on improving America. In our case, God is our presidential cabinet and we are the Commander and Chief of our environment.

* Genesis 2:21 – 25; Genesis 39:2-9; Acts 15:29; I Corinthians 6:18, 10:13; Jude 24-25; Matthew 6:1-4; Galations 5:16-24

"The Importance of Character" - Before I Say 'I Do' Pt 4

“God doesn’t want to change your conduct, He wants to change your character.”


“God is the potter and we are the clay.” We need to focus on God molding us into what He wants us to be. Your life should be just as much the same in public, as it is in private. What we watch on television, read in books, and places we dwell, should all be things that can be shown in public atmosphere. The things you value in shadows, will eventually come to light. No matter how much you hide something or cover it up, when you wear one mask to yourself and another to the multitude, eventually you will forget which one you are hiding.

We try so hard to mask those things we don’t want others to find out about, rather its something you feel others will not accept, or something God himself will not tolerate. But over time we wear the “hidden” mask so frequently, we sometimes grab it in a rush and wear it in moments we deem forbidden. And eventually, the two faces have a tendency to become one. Now we can’t turn them off and on.

If our character is different, if what we value and believe is that of alignment with God, then there is only one face. The right face. The right attitude. The same things you say and do in the safety of your home, you would do in the “openness” of a football stadium, with cameras focused on you, flashing. You become a practitioner of the Living Word, and a proprietor of the truth. You are disrobed in the spirit, hiding nothing. Exposed to the world, but reborn as a naked child of God.

* Genesis 2:21 – 25; Genesis 39:2-9; Acts 15:29; I Corinthians 6:18, 10:13; Jude 24-25; Matthew 6:1-4; Galations 5:16-24

"The Definition of Character" - Before I Say 'I Do' Pt 3

“But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance”

I can't tell you how to do these things, because I am still learning myself. But with all these things, we can be the arbitrator of God's promises, a walking testimony of what God can do. Your character is what you believe in, what you practice, what you value. I will admit, I am lacking some of those. But let me tell you what I have gained. A year ago, I was the saddest person you ever met. I was alone, I was exhausted, I was ready to give up. Then I met Mi Amor and she re-introduced me to God.

Have you ever been so down, so low, so defeated, you no longer feel you have a purpose? Ever felt like your foot is heavy on the accelerator, trying to speed off but you are stuck in neutral? That’s how my life was. I was seeking so much acceptance from other people, I was overall denied the essence of life because I was seeking it in the wrong places. “Cause if you didn’t define yourself, for yourself, you’d be crunched into other people’s fantasies of you, and eaten alive.” (Audre Lorde) I was so busy trying to prove myself to other people, I didn’t think about ALL the consequences of my actions. Or what it really takes to be an adult. I was definitely caught in a nightmare, that others would call a fantasy. I will spare you details, but you know where I am going with it.

I hit rock bottom emotionally. I was drained. Everything I had built with my own strength, my own knowledge, was torn down. But then I was shown the light. God. He watered a seed that was already planted and made it grow. I screamed out my pain to Him. I took my burdens to him, and left them there. He replaced them with Joy. A Joy I have never tasted before. An inner peace of tranquility. A happiness that can never be taken away from me. I LOVE God. I have had some suffering in my day. But now I seek patience. I am learning gentleness. God has reopened the goodness He instilled in my heart when I was born. I am being molded as we speak. I am in no way perfect, and never will be. But I will do my best to become “The Definition of Character” with God.

* Genesis 2:21 – 25; Genesis 39:2-9; Acts 15:29; I Corinthians 6:18, 10:13; Jude 24-25; Matthew 6:1-4; Galations 5:16-24

"Behind Enemy Lines" - Before I say 'I Do' Pt 2

Above is a picture of Owen Wilson being shot at and chased by three helicopters. Somehow an angel is in the picture to represent God protecting him, because you see he is not wounded...

The enemy uses the desire I spoke of in “Lights, Camera, Action!” by trying to influence you to chase after the things your flesh wants.

The enemy wants to confuse us with commercials and advertisements, even reality shows, that are sin-infested. It’s even in our music (future topic!). The enemy wants us to think it’s “cool” to act like fools, and deceive us into believing there is no accountability. Well, the results may not be instant or even tangible, but in time the consequences will be monumental. In order to win certain battles, you have to learn the ways of your enemy. That’s why they say “keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”

The devil always wants to make you think you need something better than what you have. The devil even tries to convince you to put what you have already been blessed with on the line for the mysterious thing you don’t have. And if you do get it, all you really obtain in the end is the depression of “it wasn’t worth what I gave up for it.”

This topic speaks for itself, the enemy is everywhere. Even in so called ‘friends’. Be careful of the influence of those you keep close to you. Pray for wisdom and discernment. Pray God removes the people he does not want around you. These people may even be someone you love. As my pastor would say, “If you can’t say amen, say ouch.” And its not always them. Sometimes people just have a spirit within them that’s talking, trying to bring you down. Like the spirit of jealousy. Be careful of what you let enter your mind and heart. It’s not always easy to get it out.

Do not forget the world is our battlefield, not our home. So at all times, we are behind enemy lines, fighting. And in order to change your surrounding and what you intake spiritually, in order to start winning, we usually look to our actions. But it’s not our actions that needs to change. What needs to change, is our character.

* Genesis 2:21 – 25; Genesis 39:2-9; Acts 15:29; I Corinthians 6:18, 10:13; Jude 24-25; Matthew 6:1-4; Galations 5:16-24

"Lights, Camera, Action!" - Before I say 'I Do' Pt 1

First thing I want to talk about is actions. In order to really find who it is God has set aside for us to marry, we must first practice the right actions. “Flee from fornication!” Not walk, skip, or jump, FLEE! Run from it. Fornication is “Any sexual immortality before marriage.” That includes thoughts as well. We are able to withstand temptation if it is presented to us, because God will not put us through any temptation we can not overcome. What we make the mistake of, is trying to still live with it. God gave us a desire of the opposite sex purposely. If reproducing was a boring process that took an exuberant amount of time, would there really be 6 billion people on this planet right now?

Fornication is not of God. And anything not of God must be pealed off us like the layers of a rose. We have to learn to rid ourselves of the things we hold currency to that seems innocent on the surface, but really it’s damaging if not handled with maturity, just like the thorns on a rose. And a rose is beautiful. But even if we find value in something as beautiful as rose petals, if God says “Its not of ME.”, then it has to go.

Let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with sex, just mishandled sex. God created the desire because He wants us to “be fruitful and multiply.” But this is not an excuse to have 10 baby mommas and 6 kids! And if you are wondering where the other 4 kids are, it’s the ones you aborted. (That is a topic for another day so please do not pause there, trippin’ about what I just said) ‘Adultery is the main thing that comes between couples. Not finances.’ And that’s because today, romance without finance, never even gets a chance.

But this is not just about your potential spouse, its about God. We are committing these adulterous acts against God. And every action has a reaction. And believe me, its not the one you want. When God teaches you a lesson, trust me, it gets taught! We have to be careful about what we let enter our minds. Because the enemy is plotting against you. And he wants to steal everything you have.

* Genesis 2:21 – 25; Genesis 39:2-9; Acts 15:29; I Corinthians 6:18, 10:13; Jude 24-25
Matthew 6: 1-4

"Age aint nothin but a number"

I am going to be a little long today. But the question was brought to me by someone who loves a person a bit older than them. Not a whole lot like 47 and 19, but a few years. Like seven. They want to know if its true, or am I being played by an older, more experienced lover? Does love have an age? The answer is tough. Love has no name, no age, no stereotype. It is what it is.

Take me for example, first woman I ever loved that was not puppy love, is Sydney Simone Searls. Her beauty mixed with my curiosity is what captured me initially. I thought she was angel from heaven. We fell for each other because of what we offered each other, loyalty. She loved me with all of her strength, and it showed in her every action towards me. And in return, I was there for her in the same way without question. Sydney was younger than me though, and was still growing up, as was I. But no one can tell me what we had wasn’t real. Over time that love had more meaning, more responsibility, more substance all around, and we grew fond of each other. We embraced every moment with each other we could, and learned the fundamentals of what it means to love someone.

But then take Kathryn, the first person I loved with a little bit of maturity. She was older than me and brought knowledge to the relationship, along with beauty as well. She was head strong and ambitious, something I could never contain. What attracted me to her honestly was lust. Yes lust. But the reversal is what attracted her to me was my determination. I was around her 24/7. I was whispering sweet nothings in her ear trying to get her attention, and I got it. But it was not an easy task. What kept us together was a somewhat equal balance of being friends and lovers. Sometimes you could tell we were a couple, other times you thought we were best friends. Either way, we acted the same to each other. And we spent a lot of time together, and we never took that time for granted. With her, I learned the fundamentals of dating your best friend.

And then there is Mi Amor. A person who is beyond all barriers, exceeds every standard, and doesn’t play by the rules. She is a person I met by chance, but I was not ready for what was being gift wrapped for me. It’s kind of like when you see the packaging for your Christmas gifts as a child, but you are not sure exactly what was bought. What attracted me to her initially was her comedian personality. Only woman to ever seriously make me laugh to tears! From there it went from laughs to cries to rebuking spirits to renewing my faith with God. Too much has happened with this woman. That’s because she is the first person I have ever loved spiritually.

Now all these women are different ages, at different times in my life, and yet none of them I am actually with today. So it doesn’t matter about how old they are or if I felt the love to be true, ending is the same. The difference with all of them was the maturity level they were at. The standard they held themselves at. The decisions they made. So age is nothing but a number. It is a condition people stress on love, when love should be unconditional.

"The Agenda" - The Introduction to 'Before I Say I Do'

This is a new month and I am going to start it off with a Bang. For starters I have begun another blog that will be more about different topics pertaining to things other than relationships, like the one I wrote about ipods. Its called The Minority Report. I already have one post, tune in for more various topics. I have a few lined up.

The second thing on the agenda is I am going to start a series on Marriage entitled, "Before You Say 'I Do'." Marriage is a very tough topic. I am going to take my time to make sure I get it right. This series may last all of November. Its pertaining to things to do before you get married, and the things to do once you are married. Now I am not a marriage counselor, I am just simply giving my input on what I have learned so far.

Marriage is very sacred and not to be taken lightly. It is of such high importance, it is the only metaphor God uses to express his love for the Church. He is speaks that the Church is the bride and Jesus is the groom. Never thought I would be wearing a dress but ok. Also some of the things are notes from my pastor, so it’s more so his words than mine. I am just reinventing what was given to me.

Lets get it crackin!